When Christmas Morning is a Disappointment
By Contributing Writer, Bambi Moore
Maybe some of you have played out this same scenario in your own living room on Christmas morning:
The family gathers around an enormous stack of gifts. Little Billy opens up two gifts and his eyes are as big as saucers. “WOW!! Thank you!! Is that really for me??!!” He’s ecstatic, thankful, and wants to play with his gifts. Instead he’s told he must keep opening packages.
He continues opening gifts and continues to be excited saying, “Cool! What else is for me?”
More tearing and flinging of paper reveals even more goodies, this time a few less-exciting toys and a pair of pajamas. Billy disdainfully points, “I didn’t want that thing.”
Billy continues to open gifts: action figures, stuffed animals, a remote control truck. He replies, “I wanted the blue truck, not the black.”
Finally the stack of gifts has disappeared, and Billy is moping.
Mama consoles him as Billy sulks and pouts and pokes through the empty wrapping paper. “Is this all I got?”
(Loosely adapted from “The Christmas Fulfillment Drama” by Amy Dacyzyn, first published in the Complete Tightwad Gazette.)
Maybe this plays out a little more subtly in your family. Maybe there is only a lessening of enthusiasm as each gift is opened. Point is we could have stopped with the first two gifts. I love to give gifts to my children and can easily go overboard. (Truth be told Christmas is a weakness of mine.) Unfortunately, I have been disappointed more than once at their lack of excitement on Christmas morning, and I am the one to blame.
Right now we are re-reading through the Laura Ingalls Wilder books. I have been convicted at the joy that was brought to the Ingalls family by so little. A piece of candy, a string of buttons, or a tin cup was cherished and appreciated more than the latest electronic gadget would be today.
Maybe it’s because in those days there were no gifts any other time of year–just Christmas and perhaps a birthday. In 2012 however, we buy whatever we want, whenever we want it. If we need something, we just go out and get it! Why then do we feel like we have to give our children so much at Christmastime? We are the most prosperous nation in the world (for now) living in the most prosperous time in history.
Keeping Costs in Check
We shop a lot at thrift stores. Today at Goodwill I bought Seth a Lego set still in the box for $13.99. I have had my eye on this set for a while, but it was $50 new. I try to keep several gift ideas in mind that the kids would enjoy and either:
a.) buy them year-round at yard sales and thrift stores and store them away
or
b.) find them during the holiday season, but be flexible–keeping a list of options rather than must-haves (unless it’s something specifically requested).
Another idea:
Limit to four gifts (even this can be too much–either because of the “gimmie” symptoms it produces, or because it isn’t financially attainable).
- Something you want
- Something you need
- Something you wear
- Something you read
Other options we have tried to cut spending and the spoil-factor:
- Buy one family gift or at least “big kid & small kid” gifts. This works well in families who are blessed with lots of children.
- A camping trip out-of-town after the holidays
- Take part of the Christmas budget and give it to someone else whose budget is smaller, letting the whole family help decide who the recipients should be.
- Give lessons for an instrument.
- Refurbish a toy that an older child has outgrown. For instance Stephen is getting Seth’s Little Tykes basketball goal that has been stored away. Just needs a few repairs and a little elbow grease and voila–we saved $50.
Do you have any ideas to cut down on the over-abundance of toys and gifts that can cause children to be less grateful? Do you have a specific way you shop for gifts? Share!
Tags: Christmas, Gift Giving, parenting
Thanks for this post! My child will be 2 in March. I want her to learn early that Christmas isn’t about little ol’ me. It’s about JESUS! I’m not sure we’re doing a fabulous job. She has too many gifts this year! But it’s a learning experience, and we’re getting there! I try to be careful because her birthday is in March, but it’s hard to resist the temptation sometimes! Very wise thoughts and tips from you! Thanks again!
We had to sit down with our children every Christmas and have the talk about not having spare money for Christmas every year. We worked, but every penny went to bills. We got the free turkey from the super Market so we had Christmas dinner, watched Christmas shows on television, (which was free back then) , and the school took each of our 4 children to a Christmas party with 1 free gift for each child. We decorated an old artificial tree each year and baked a birthday cake for Jesus and listened to Carols while we decorated. My children never complained. We were all glad to have a roof over our head and be together as a family.
Hubby says his family really didn’t do much for Christmas, being over 4 states away from grandparents and cousins. They would have a nice meal and that was it. Every once in a while if the year was good, there would be one big gift that they all shared. like a computer one year and a trampoline another. We did gifts every year, but it was just kinda laid back and relaxed. In fact, we didn’t even open our family gifts on Christmas day because we were usually with Grandparents then.
These are great thoughts, ladies! Fun to read how everyone handles gift-giving
Thanks for the great read. We don’t buy the kids toys through the year and because we homeschool we like to buy toys that encourage development in different areas, ie making sure the kids have something to build with, different sized balls to throw with, things for pretend play. We like to add to sets we already have, rather than buying a whole new set of something. That being said, we like to get a family present – one year it was a board game, another year a tramp, an individual present or two, small things like a puzzle or a scooter, and a stocking with a few treats (small packet or biscuits or chips – we don’t usually buy these, candy cane, packet of raisings) and small things to either add to a toy set they already have – eg boys are getting a little train each (not branded) to add to their wooden train set. or something for dress ups – daughter is getting headbands – we only buy fancy hair stuff for presents, only hair ties are bought during the year.) The biggest thing to avoid discontentment is to avoid malls, window shopping, tv advertising, brochures with pictures, places where children are exposed to things they want that are better than what they have. – especially around november, december.
Great ideas Catherine! Agree about avoiding malls and tv advertising.
You aren’t the same Catherine Vos of the children’s story Bible, are you?
I was wondering the same thing….are authors real people?
Unfortunately no. I don’t even own that Bible, although I would like to. I am a young mum of 3 children, aged almost 3 to just turned 6.
The easiest way to keep things simple and Christ-centered for our family has been to eliminate gift-giving at Christmas except for an ornament given to each family member. My husband and I made this decision before we married and have not regretted it at all. Our children receive lots of gifts on their birthday, so we do not feel the need to do so in celebrating Christ’s birth. It has made our Christmases less stressful trying to buy for everyone and we truly can enjoy “the reason for the season”.
Christmas presents is a weakness that is hard for me to resist. I love giving them presents and throughout the rest of the year we don’t buy them toys except for their birthdays. I’ve resolved to stop buying them so much but always end up doing it anyways. Last year though we had a co-worker of my husband’s bless us with a used guitar for our oldest son (for FREE!) and we gave him an old MP3 player (from our college years) and these gifts he has treasured and they didn’t cost anything! This year we went to 3 gifts for each child: 1 to play with, 1 to create with (anything from a science kit to a box of tape to glitter glue for our children), and 1 to read (this still can get expensive depending on what you buy). Our children have been contributing all their money to the Ward of the Gimmies post you wrote, Bambi and are committed to getting some sort of animal for a family in need around the world. So, they have been creating things and wrapping them up for family members (even LEGO guys and vehicles!) and also finding stuffed animals and such that younger children in the family would enjoy more than they do and wrapping those up. Snoopy has now gone through two children and is onto the baby now. My husband and I have some toys from when we were young that our kids really want out of storage and we are thinking of wrapping these up too. I still feel like our children have way too much of everything, but we are trying to teach them to be thankful for what they have.
We give three presents to our little boy at Christmas. After all, that is what Jesus received as well. It helps us limit the impulse buying and really plan what 3 things we want him to have this year. It can be hard to be self disciplined when it comes to giving your children gifts but over indulging them is no gift at all. Thanks for your post!
I love this article! We decided this year to change up some things. We decided to give each child 3 gifts in representation of the 3 gifts given to Jesus at birth. It helps us to stay on budget and reminds us of the true meaning of Christmas.
This describes our previous Christmas mornings exactly. I will be approaching this Christmas differently thanks to your insights! We have 6, 4 and 1 years old. This Christmas, their big surprise will be their grandparents arriving from England on Christmas morning. I have a feeling they won’t care about what’s under the tree after they see them