What if you are a wife, and your husband is not asking you to sin; he just doesn’t agree with you on things. How do you come to a final decision on something when you’ve reached an impasse?
The “disease to please” runs rampant in society and in many churches, resulting in women who act more like girls than powerful women of loving faith. Consequently, far too many women are not being transformed into the true image of Christ, and not living like the heroic women of faith in the Bible. Instead, they have become hamster-wheel women of immense frustration, burnout, and depression with lives that lack purpose and integrity.
The reason submission is so unpalatable to people, especially women, is because of all the “Christian” lies that swirl around it. Submission itself is a beautiful thing that enhances human relationships. But here are some examples of how people take it, twist it into a lie, and fling it around like a weapon that can (and does) encourage and perpetuate abuse of women and children.
A reader commented recently: “What do you think the Bible means when it tells Christian women to “submit” to their husbands? Do you think it was just for that culture?” Let’s figure that out.
One of the most destructive books for Christian women on the market (in my personal opinion) is Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl. And there was a time when I recommended that book to women. I cringe to admit that. I would read her caustic message delivered in a sarcastic, critical, angry tone, and I would cheer. Now my flesh crawls.
1) I would like to be a Christian sex therapist. We have seen so many marriages that are loveless, and we have seen that almost no pastors have any helpful advice to give except that the husband’s and wife’s bodies belong to each other so don’t deprive one another. And by the way, submit woman. […]
I am about to do a great purge. It has nothing to do with weight loss and everything to do with being genuine and reducing stress. I’ve changed. This change involves becoming real, like the Velveteen Rabbit. My fur is getting rubbed off.
Because I Deserve Hell, Therefore I Deserve to Be Abused?
Have you seen this? A Christian Wife’s Marriage Catechism. It’s appalling on several levels, but I wouldn’t have believed so a few years ago. My, how things change. I read the following response today, and it was so good, I had to link to it here. This is just a portion of his article. A link to the rest follows:
Q11. How good a husband is my husband to me?
A11. Much better than I deserve, and therefore I will thank God for him every day.
Here the writer makes a deadly error. Here we see the error of using a word with several different meanings as if it only had one meaning….
…What he is saying in effect is this: Because I deserve eternal punishment in hell for my sins, it follows that I deserve to take whatever injustice and abuse that my husband wishes to dish out to me.
Are we to believe that since no one has ever earned any favor from God whatsoever, but has received every good thing by grace alone that it would therefore follow that my boss can withhold my paycheck from me, since I deserve far worse?
If the blogger in question would be consistent with his univocal use of the word “deserve”, we would expect the following exchange: “My employer has robbed me of my wages. What should I do?”
Answer, “Rejoice that you have received far more than you deserve and continue to work for him with a meek and quiet spirit. Don’t make a fuss.”
Take it one step further: “My family was slaughtered by a wicked man.”
Answer: “It was better than they deserved. Let it go, and don’t make a fuss. No need to involve the police.”
It is indeed true that God’s mercy can never be earned – or deserved. We increase our guilt daily before God. We are fallen sinners. Unless we are born again, we deserve nothing but eternal wrath and damnation. This is taught clearly throughout Scripture.
(Eph 2:8-9 KJV) 8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: 9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
But this is speaking of our standing before the Judgment Throne of God. It does not follow that we therefore deserve to be treated with cruelty, hatred and dishonor by wicked men.
If the grace of God can be used to justify injustice and cruelty, then words no longer have any meaning.
From the hand of God we always and continually receive far more that we can ever merit or “deserve”, for even the best works in this life are all polluted by sin.
Does it then follow that we do not deserve kindness, love, respect and honor from our fellow man? Not according to the Bible.
Consider the following passage:
(Rom 13:7-8 KJV) 7 Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour. 8 Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.
God teaches here that there are those who deserve our taxes, our honor, and our tribute. But then in verse 8, he carries the argument further: We owe all men love. Not the love of the world, but love defined by the law of God.
For a husband, we owe our wives the same love with which Christ loved his church. Does she earn it? Of course not. But does she deserve it? She certainly does.
Read the rest of God’s Grace an Excuse for Cruelty?
I love bottom lines. Boiling things down to their essence. Sound bites small enough to grab hold of and keep in your pocket. This post is about the Bottom Line. You know? The Bottom, Bottom Line. So when we are in the pit of the pits, we can pull this out and let it pull us out.
When the Wicked are Enabled and the Oppressed are Rejected
The following is an excerpt from a sermon at Christ Reformation Church.
Therefore I recommend to you that wherever you see a void of discernment between good and evil, where the wicked are enabled and the oppressed are rejected, you will also see an inability to recognize God’s Word and Truth and instead an embracing of man-made religious traditions which parade as God’s Word. You will have disobedience to Christ’s commands, a lack of fear at His threatenings, and a disbelief in His promises.
Are these not the very things we are seeing in so many, many local churches today? A vacuum of faith.
If you are a Christian, then this faith IS in you. By it the Holy Spirit enables you to recognize Christ’s voice as He speaks to His sheep (John 10) and to reject the voice of a counterfeit stranger. By faith, we understand God’s word to be real wisdom and we reject the “wisdom” of this world as foolishness. By faith we discern the spirits (1 John 4:1) to see if they are from God or not. And it is this faith operating in us that will set us apart from those “sheep” who do not have it. Ultimately, this is the reason so many of us have found ourselves walking a different path than the religious crowd around us.
1 Thessalonians 5:19-22 Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil.