Remember the story of Odysseus from your Greek mythology class? At one point on his journey home after fighting in the Trojan War, Odysseus had to maneuver his ship between a narrow passage. On one side was a monster, Charybdis, who created a whirlpool three times a day that would suck a ship under and destroy it. On the other side was another monster, Scylla, who posed an equal threat to any ship that dared to attempt passage. If the ship avoided Charybdis, it would surely run into Scylla. Either way, it probably wouldn’t have a positive outcome.
Yesterday I brought up the modern-day theological thinking in Reformed circles regarding divorce along with the idea that this way of viewing divorce was very likely fabricated by people with an agenda. Today I want to draw your attention to another teaching popularized in the last forty years that has done just as much damage […]
Conquer Support Group is Taking Applicants This Week!
Heads up! If you are looking for more intense support, I highly recommend Leslie Vernick’s Conquer support group. For only $27 per month (which I think is a bargain when you consider how much private counseling costs – and this can be just as effective) you get access to a library of videos on all kinds of subjects pertaining to abuse survivors. You’ll also get to be part of an amazing community of women, like yourself, on a private Facebook page. I think this was my favorite part about Conquer. I didn’t feel alone. I had a place to share my raw feelings without being ignored and dismissed. People prayed for me, and I prayed for them.
Finally, you’ll be a part of two group phone calls per month where you can ask questions and hear Leslie’s answers. If you can swing $27 per month, it will be money well spent in your recovery and healing.
2 minute Patrick Doyle Clip on Emotional Abuse
This is a great little clip to send to someone who believes your very convincing emotionally abusive partner. When the helper tells you to “love them more” as the solution, it only emboldens the abusive partner. Here’s why:
If you want to share this short clip with a “people helper” via email, but you don’t want to link them directly to this blog, here’s a link that leads straight to the clip: http://www.youtube.com/v/cMnaexahcLo?version=3&start=338&end=446&autoplay=0&hl=en_US&rel=0
You can watch the entire video HERE.
When things fell apart, Elisabeth Elliot’s motto was “do the next thing.” That’s what I’ve been doing this month. Keeping my head down, shoulder to the plow, inching forward to the next thing, then the next, then the next. Some days I have to triage the various fires that flare up and threaten to overwhelm […]
If you are tangled up in a confusing relationship, one effective strategy to gain a solid footing (and eventually a voice) is to write things down. It doesn’t matter if you are a good writer or not. Your purpose isn’t to win a Pulitzer prize. Here are three important things you can record on paper (or on your computer) that will be tremendously helpful to you over time.
Can you have a healthy relationship where there is lying, covering up, pretending, overlooking, and ignoring? Does that foster intimacy? Of course not. Healthy relationships are grown in the soil of vulnerability and safety. When two people are open and honest, they can get close and experience authentic acceptance and love. Anything less is dysfunctional in some way.