Training Children to be Kind in Their Reactions

By Contributing Writer, Kim Doebler

Yesterday, we defined kindness as “being considerate of others”. Although thoughtful could replace considerate for younger children, I like considerate because it is the word used in Philippians 2:3-4.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

With kindness as our goal, we will look at three ways we can train our children to be kind in their reactions.

Teach children to say “Please don’t” and to stop.

What is a child’s natural reaction when another child says, “please don’t”? The universal reaction is to do the unwanted action one more time! But with a little practice, we can help our children be kind in their reactions and stop right away.

Learning a song is always a great way to get Truth into a little one’s heart.

We have a short ditty that says, “When someone says “please don’t”, then we stop.” As we sing we dance around and then freeze in silly positions when we sing “stop”.

After learning the song, I have been able to remind our children to stop by asking, “When someone says “please don’t”, what do we do?” Really little ones have been known to jump into an odd pose and say, “stop”, while older ones tend to sheepishly respond, “stop.”

Teach children to say “Yes, Mom”

A kind reaction to mom’s request is to answer her with “Yes, Mom.”

We are being considerate of others when we let them know we heard them and are responding.

Having children learn to say “Yes, Mom” also helps mom to know that the child has heard their request, and the “I didn’t hear you” is eliminated.

We have played two games to help instill the practice of answering “Yes, Mom”.

The first is a twist on Simon Says. We call it Mommy Says. Simply have the child add “Yes, Mommy” before the child does the requested action.
The second game is mommy telling children to go to strange places throughout the house. When mom tells a child, “Go stand in the bathtub, please” the child replies, “Yes, Mom” without asking “Why?” Another addition would be to call the child back and the child responds, “Yes, Mom, I’m coming.”

Teach children that it is only fun as long as everyone is having fun.

A kind reaction when someone is not having fun…is to stop. Role playing through situations that tend to get out of control can help a child stop when it comes to a real life circumstances. Some examples of thing you could roll play might include, splashing, throwing snow, wrestling, mimicking, tickling, and teasing.

A recent incident happened after we enjoyed a fire and s’mors with our Greek cousins. Greece does not have marshmallows, so indulgence was allowed. After two bags of marshmallows, two boxes of graham crackers and one package of candy bars had been consumed, the sugar was showing its power, and the three teen and preteen boys started a game of tag that looked a lot like slapping. “Boys, it is only fun if everyone is having fun.” I reminded them. One of the Greek cousins asked my son, “What did your mom say?” He responded, “She said we should stop if someone isn’t having fun.”

Well said, son.

I hope these six ideas from yesterday and today will encourage you to train your children to be kind in their both their actions and reactions. And as we seek to instill godly character, remember