Confessions of a Fearful Mother

Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.  2 Timothy 1:7

These are the verses I have gone to for many years in moments of paralyzing fear.  God has used it to speak peace into my heart and calm my anxious thoughts. Through these words of the Creator, He has given me confidence to move forward in spite of my fearful hesitations.  A weak woman here…in desperate need of God’s power to overcome so much.

I’m a home-body.  I love to just hunker down and BE in my own little castle.  It’s familiar, secure, and holds routine and productivity within its walls.  But God has different plans for me during the course of the next two weeks.

Saturday morning, our family of 10 is doing something we’ve never done before…camping across the western half of the United States.  The planning and shopping and packing for this trip has been mind-boggling.  There are unknowns around every corner.

  • There are mountain passes to cross with a Sprinter van full of human treasures and a camper trailing behind.  (Doesn’t God know that I have a serious phobia of heights?!)
  • There are sleepless nights in a camper listening to party-driven campers celebrating the 4th of July week end in the various state parks.
  • There are diapers to change and children to feed and I doubt the weather will be rainless for 14 days.  What about that?
  • I’m newly pregnant and at high risk for miscarriage (I’ve had 5 losses), especially due to my age.  Can I do this…and do THAT too?  What if…
  • I fear water, children falling, bears, blown out tires, blown out diapers in car seats, illness on the road, exhaustion with no end in sight, boredom, tension, and disappointment.
  • I fear coping without the crutch of creature comforts.

Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

I will get up tomorrow morning…and bank on that.

Natalie Klejwa is a Wemmick, loved by the Woodcarver, wife of 22 years to Joe, and mother to 9 Wemmicks ages 2-20. She is a business owner (Apple Valley Natural Soap), founder and administrator of the Visionary Womanhood blog, publisher and contributing author of Three Decades of Fertility, You Can Do it Too! 25 Families Share Their Stories, and The Heart of Simplicity: Foundations for Christian Homemaking.

You can hear her being interviewed on Kevin Swanson's Generations with Vision radio program.

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One thought on “Confessions of a Fearful Mother

  1. Natalie, by now you are hopefully getting your first night of sleep out there in the wilds the US. I really hope your first night is very uneventful but big in God’s victory and grace. I will be thinking about you guys often and remember to pray for you. Tina