Links

This page has a modge podge of things that I have found useful. It contains everything from quotes and books that I like to podcasts, videos, and slideshows.

If you don’t want to scroll through the entire list, you can click on one of the links below and filter the resources by specific category.

I will update this list as I discover new resources.

The Voice of the Helper

Practical Theology for Women
November 16, 2014

One thing I am processing is why so many women over the years at Mars Hill felt silenced. I think some of it is pathological – serious mental struggles due to childhood trauma by some influential leaders that resulted in over the top reactions to women who spoke up. But I also think some of it was theological, which is why I’ve hounded again and again the issue of Genesis 3:16. One elder referred to explicit theology – that which was taught – and implicit theology – that which was believed. There was a discrepancy between the two at times. Leadership at Mars Hill occasionally spoke explicitly about women with the assumption that our first root issue was that we would want to take over control from the men in our lives. But the implicit belief outside of what was explicitly taught was there at a fundamental, pervasive level. When that is your foundational assumption, then there is nothing that a woman can say short of complete agreement and affirmation of you in every way that will not be eventually labeled gossip, manipulation, or outright usurping of authority.

Read the rest of this insightful article by Wendy Alsup HERE.

Can Abusers be Christians?

Cry for Justice
November 17, 2014

Need to clear up the confusion over whether or not there will be justice when a so-called “Christian” is chronically abusive and unrepentant? Do they get to abuse with impunity because they are a “Christian?” After all, they are covered by the blood of Christ, right? Christians sin, and there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, so doesn’t that mean abusers who are “saved” get a free ticket to abuse and then enjoy the benefits of being a child of God?

If you’ve ever been emotionally, physically, sexually, verbally, financially, or spiritually abused on a regular basis by a co-worker, boss, spouse, parent, relative, “friend,” or pastor, OR if you know someone who has, this article is for you. Read it HERE.

Three Disciplines to Develop Wise Speech

Knowable Word
November 14, 2014

(Red brackets are my addition to the text to help the reader see how this applies to all of us, not just “leaders.” You could put the word “sister’s” or “friend’s” or whatever other word you want in there. Make it applicable to YOU!)

You’ve tasted and seen the effects of a wise leader’s [mother’s] words, and you want to be that kind of leader [mother]. You want to speak words that deliver, delight, gladden, and heal. You’d like to be able to defuse, persuade, inspire, and influence. You can picture leading such Bible studies [or children around the dinner table], but you don’t know how to move in that direction. You see the potential, but you don’t know how to realize it.

You’re not alone, and you don’t have to feel stuck. Proverbs describes not only the product but also which best practices will help you get there. The following 3 tips don’t include everything that could be said about how to become a wise leader [mother]. But if you give yourself to these 3 disciplines, you’ll quickly find, by God’s grace, you have something to offer. “The lips of the righteous feed many” (Prov 10:21).

This article was rich and convicting. Read the rest HERE.

How Much Money are you Worth?

Get Along Home
June 10, 2014

If you’ve been on Facebook around Mother’s Day, or spent any time at all reading mom blogs, you’ll have seen numerous articles about how much real money a mom is worth. You know the ones. They add up the yearly wages of chauffeur, chef, daycare provider, psychologist, nurse, etc., and that’s how much you’re really worth, Mom! This past Mother’s Day, there was a very sneaky bit of advertising wrapped up in a video about how motherhood is “the hardest job in the world” and pays nothing. Nothing at all. (And now that you’re feeling guilty, kids, you need to fork over your whole allowance to buy an amazing gift for that completely unappreciated mom in your life!)

Eh. Maybe motherhood is that hard, maybe it isn’t. What I’m more concerned about is what it says about our society that we mothers so need our value to be defined in dollars and cents and hours “worked” that, instead of being ignored as the irrelevancies that they are, these things get passed around like a cold virus in a mid-winter Sunday School class. These articles, infographics, and videos all play to our desire to be appreciated, not by our own immediate families, but by the Joneses.

Read the rest of Cindy’s article HERE.

When Dad Doesn’t Disciple the Kids

The Beginning of Wisdom
October 22, 2014

Three kinds of “single moms” exist in the church: the literal single mom who is raising children on her own, the mom whose husband is an unbeliever, and the mom whose husband professes belief but does not partner in the spiritual nurture of the family. For the true single mom and the mom married to an unbeliever, the task is clear: train your children in the Lord because no one else will. For the wife of the believing father guilty of spiritual absenteeism, the lines are blurry. She lives in the tension between wanting to honor her spouse and wanting to spiritually equip her children. All three “single moms” desperately need the support of the church, but in this post I want to focus specifically on the third mom, a woman trapped in a dilemma.

Read the rest of this article by Jen Wilkin HERE.

The Cure for Shame

Reformation 21
September 2014

Think about Adam and Eve in the garden. They did the one thing God had commanded them not to do, and ate of the one tree amongst all the other trees that were full of good fruit. Everything up until this point had been good, good, good. Suddenly they realized that something was wrong with them. They were naked. Instead of taking their shame to God, they covered themselves and hid. We’ve been doing the same thing ever since, desperately trying to cover our shame, to hide it from one another. That’s why researcher and writer Brené Brown likes to say that, “Shame only needs three things to grow exponentially in our lives: secrecy, silence and judgment.” Sadly the church often follows society in offering shame-ladened people all three.

Read the rest HERE.

How to (and how NOT to) Help Someone Battling Cancer

SBC Voices
July 19, 2014

Reflecting on our past and present experience with cancer, we have been blessed to have family, friends and a church family who have been wonderfully supportive. Quite often, people want to know how they can help and encourage someone going through the experience of cancer or other medical related trials. I hope that you will find this list useful as you minister to others. Here are a few things I found to be helpful and not so helpful in our journey:

Helpful: Encouraging me to trust God through our trial

More Helpful: Sharing your experience of God’s grace in your time of need and the assurance that God will be with me as well

Not Helpful: Telling me about all the people you know who also have/had cancer

Definitely Avoid: Telling me about the people you know who died from cancer

Read the rest HERE.

Explaining Domestic Abuse to Children

A Cry For Justice
October 15, 2014

Once upon a time there was a home that had a dog and some other pets: a rabbit, some cats, and some hamsters. It seemed like the dog got along fairly well with most of the animals and with the people, although he did get into bad moods and growled at them for no good reason. On his good days, he’d wag his tail and play with the cats and hamsters and they ran around and had fun together. However, the dog had a thing about the rabbit. He thought rabbits were wimps and he thought it was funny to growl at the rabbit and chase him and see him scared.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. Here’s a little story you can tell children to explain this complex situation. Read the rest of the story HERE.

Submission and the Mutual Lust for Autonomy

Practical Theology for Women
October 6, 2014

“The problem with interpreting Genesis 3:16 to teach that women more than men have a desire to control is not that women don’t often act independently of God, but that, first, that’s not what this verse is saying, and two, men struggle with such lust for autonomy as much if not more than women. But who gets rebuked for rebellion in most modern Christian dialogue? Who gets instructed to obey their authorities? Have you heard an argument for submission lately that doesn’t focus on wives to husbands, kids to parents, or church members to elders? In my little neck of the woods, discussions on submission get aimed at these groups. Period. Today, I want to talk about our mutual lust for autonomy and the widespread need in the Body of Christ for submission that transcends gender. Who, oh husband, parent, pastor, or judge, are YOU submitted to? Who can tell you NO?”

Read the rest of this article by Wendy Alsup HERE.

Is the Christian Modesty Message Causing Women to be Ashamed of Their Bodies?

To Love, Honor, and Vacuum
October 1, 2014

The Christian modesty message also says that boys are basically helpless to withstand this onslaught of seeing girls’ curves. All guys, including all older men, will lust if they see you. I’m not sure how that message is supposed to make women like men.

I am so glad Sheila isn’t afraid to start some conversations about these kinds of things. I think we are in desperate need of re-thinking stuff, because some of the rabbit trails we’ve gone down have ended in destruction for a lot of young (and old!) women. Read the rest of this FANTASTIC, thought-provoking article HERE. I think she does a great job of putting things in perspective without going off the deep end one way or the other.