What Is Your Inner Coach Telling You?

What is Your Inner Coach Telling You? By Visionary Womanhood

I recently watched an incredible video by Brett Ledbetter that was applicable to so many areas of life: parenting, working, homemaking, ministry, healthy living, etc.. I’m going to share the video at the bottom of this post, but I thought I’d share some of my notes with you in case you want a printable quick version.

He starts off by talking about our “inner coach”—the voice inside our head that talks to us all day long. Does it help us or break us down? We need to take responsibility for how that voice is speaking. We want that voice to contribute to our life in a healthy way.

I thought about how we can either be voicing truth or lies to ourselves, and what gets programmed into our lives ends up determining what we ultimately accomplish. It’s another reason to be meditating on the Truth of God’s Word, reading good literature, listening to good music, having healthy conversations with healthy people, and so forth.

Here are some other tasty bullet points:

  • When we think negatively we aren’t just competing against our opponent, we are competing against ourselves.
  • To maintain discipline with our emotions in the middle of chaos takes character. To stay calm whether we are winning or losing? This is self-control and focus.
  • When we are anxious or stressed out, we’re almost always focused on the past or the future, neither of which we have control over.
  • If we choose to focus on the present and the things we CAN control, we will be able to maintain that discipline and make progress.
  • A GOAL is “the result to which effort is aimed.” Results are often out of our control, so instead of focusing on results, we should focus on EFFORT – the process that drives the result.
  • “You can have the goal of a championship, but there’s a process to get there and your focus needs to be on that.” Brad Stevens, coach for the Boston Celtics.
  • “The best way to get to the next level is to be good in the present.”
  • “Success can be found in your daily agenda.”
  • CHARACTER drives the process.

And that’s what the talk boiled down to. Character. Fifteen coaches picked the ten most important character traits for performance and morality, and here’s what they came up with:

Performance: character skills that govern your relationship with yourself.

Like what makes you get up at 5:30 a.m. to work out?

  1. Hardworking
  2. Competitive
  3. Positive
  4. Focused
  5. Accountable
  6. Resiliant
  7. Confident
  8. Energetic
  9. Disciplined
  10. Motivated

Moral: character skills that govern your relationships with others.

Like what makes you a great teammate and friend?

  1. Unselfish
  2. Honest
  3. Respectful
  4. Appreciative
  5. Humble
  6. Loyal
  7. Trustworthy
  8. Encouraging
  9. Socially aware
  10. Caring

Ledbetter then encourages us to use our “inner coach” to build these things into our lives. (We have a Holy Spirit to boot. Double prizes.)

Begin with the end in mind. Ask,

“What am I trying to accomplish (RESULT)?”

“How am I going to make that happen (PROCESS)?”

“What are the character skills I need to make that happen (CHARACTER)?”

When you see a RESULT (an accomplishment), ask:

“What did I do well, and why?”

“What could I do better, and how?”

My Take Away

This really had my head popping with applications. Mainly, it confirmed the fact that it is doing our best every moment of the daily grind that makes the difference in the long run. It’s not bemoaning the past or fearing the future. It’s putting my 150% into the here and now. Doing what lies before me and doing it well. It’s correcting the steering wheel and being OK with the fact that I’ll never steer 100% straight.

I loved the inner coach idea. Last year I read Switch on Your Brain by Caroline Leaf, and this is basically what she taught. We can change the bad grooves in our brain by changing the messages we tell ourselves. I worked very hard on listening to what I was saying to myself over and over again, and I wasn’t very nice to myself most of the time! I had to select portions of Scripture that would speak Truth to me – and then every time my brain started going down a well-worn groove (path), I would stop myself and chart a new path with Truth. I was coaching myself with God’s Word.

Awk. This maybe sounds extremely basic. And I guess I’ve done this kind of thing off and on over the years, but last year I really needed an brain overhaul. Oh bother, who am I fooling? I’ll be overhauling the rest of my life.

Soooooo…I really liked this video, and I sent it to all my older kids. I think it’s fodder for great dinner conversation. Here it is:

 

A mother of nine, homemaker, business owner (Apple Valley Natural Soap), and most importantly, a Wemmick loved by the Woodcarver.

Follow Natalie on Facebook, Pinterest, and Google +.

View all posts by Natalie →

Posted on
Categories: Be Brave, Be Balanced
Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

10 thoughts on “What Is Your Inner Coach Telling You?”

  1. THANK YOU for this!! I’ve seen several TED Talks that I’ve enjoyed, but this one tops the list!

    I looked at the title of your post, and thought, “What is my inner coach telling me? For most of my life, it’s been telling me I’m a dumb, worthless, piece of….” [Well, never mind.]

    Except with music. The musical me doesn’t struggle with this. I’m not filled with negative self-talk like I am with almost every other aspect of my life. I had a piano performance three weeks ago, and it went very well. Then another performance of the same solo this past weekend, and you know what? It didn’t go like the first one — I had a major memory slip half way through the piece. HOWEVER, my mind stayed on my music, and didn’t turn to thoughts like, “Oh, you idiot, you’ve had this piece memorized for months, and now you can’t remember it?” (That’s how I talk to myself with just about anything else I goof up.) I stayed calm, sort of remembering the patterns in the music, but not recalling exactly where my left hand was supposed to be, and I just gracefully ended the piece (the third of a set of six dances) when I arrived at a place that sort of sounded like a good place to end that dance. :-)

    And only my daughter, who had heard me play the work many times, and no one else in the audience to whom I’d mentioned the slip, knew something had been amiss. 😉

    Oh, and the following dances went fine. Maybe because I wasn’t saying, “What if I forget the 4th one, too? And the 5th? And the 6th?” LOL :-)

    Anyway… seeing that TED talk was so exciting, because it gives me hope that I can build my inner coach in every area of my life, and not have those principles only apply to one aspect of my existence. Whatever the results (you win some, you lose some), I have hope that I can walk away from any experience without ending up in a crumpled heap, with a dark cloud of negativity over and in me, based on an imperfect “performance,” in whichever area it might be.

    And your thoughts on charting a new mental path with God’s Truth are great, and just what the Lord has been impressing on me lately. Many thoughts in my head are not from Him, and my worth is not tied up in anything in this world, but in Christ. He is my all in all, and “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”!

    This post was a blessing to me, Natalie. Thank you. :-)

    • This was really neat. I love how you can see this at work already in the area of your music performance. God will help you carry that over into more areas. We can go from strength to strength in Him!

  2. Wow. I love it when God keeps sending me the same message, every direction I turn! A week ago I heard about Caroline Leaf’s books, and ordered Switch on Your Brain. It should be here tomorrow; guess it needs to go on top of my ‘books I’m reading’ stack! I know I need to change the message of my inner coach.

    Thank you very much for sharing your notes; I really like written material, it helps me digest info!

  3. The conversation at the breakfast table this morning was all about doubting if we are good Christians. My kids: 12, 9 and 7 y.o., were voicing their doubts about their salvation and behavior. How they could not be good Christians because of their lack of desire to read the Bible, go to church and pray!!! We talked and I had the privilege of hear their “inner coaches”. Of course, I told them what the Bible says about being a good Christian (there is no such thing!) and about our walk of faith and knowing and using the Word of God as our weapon. Later on, talking to my DH, I kind of felt defeated and hopeless because of my kids’ struggles. Then I realized that it was really a privilege to hear their concerns. If they are questioning their faith, that means it’s not dead. If we are listening to our “inner coaches” and we are not happy with them, it means we can change those voices. If it’s bothering us, it means God is at work. :) I haven’t heard the TEd talk yet, but I will. :) I also loved the post about vomit and hair. :) LOL

    • I’ve had those same conversations. They are disconcerting on the surface – but I think ultimately they are healthy conversations to have. The fact that they are safe to be open and honest with you is a very healthy thing. A privilege – as you put it!

  4. Thank you for this! I am new to TED talks, how do you go about finding the good ones?

  5. Thank you Natalie for this enlightening article, it reminded me to listen up and when to silence that critic.
    I know that sometimes it is the enemy that is my biggest critic and other times it is my past critics. I love the Holy Spirit and His coaching, so gentle and loving…I can always tell it’s Him.

Comments are closed.