Visionary Womanhood

I am linking to this article because I wonder how many good Christian women can relate to this testimony? Is Scripture bondage to you? If it is, that could be your first red flag that something is rotten in Denmark. Life in Eden changed. But then, you’ve also probably been told that’s “normal.”

I was told by my Christian counselor [2012] that “scripture was bondage to me.” I was offended.

• We ought to esteem others higher than ourselves
• We have to love the unlovely
• Jesus opened not his mouth
• A wise woman builds up her house, a foolish one tears it down by the words of her mouth
• We ought to forgive as Christ has forgiven us lest we receive not His forgiveness
• We cannot manipulate as is the sin of witchcraft but rather with longsuffering submit and pray for and heap burning coals and rejoice in trials n tribulations
• We cannot abstain lest by mutual consent
• In this life we will be treated harshly and unfairly…do we think we will receive differently than Christ Himself?
• It is only God who vindicates, don’t let the sun go down on your anger, trust God, do good despite what others do to you
• You control yourself…guard your heart from bitterness n keep a right spirit
• Wives submit and don’t have a Jezebel spirit of control
• As you submit and show forth your soft answers that turn away wrath and by your quiet and meek spirit…it will naturally win over your husband by observing your spiritual conduct and he will rise to the position of Godly headship convicted
• You cannot leave the unbeliever …how do you not know that he won’t change and you don’t sanctify him and your children? God Hates Divorce

My ex-husband used scripture AGAINST me because he knew I loved Jesus and wanted to live it FOR Jesus and hear “well done” and be an example and keep my relationship with Christ and not slip into the flesh. He guilt-tripped me. He manipulated me. He quoted our pastor who said I was too strong willed and needed a heavier hand to force me into proper submission lest I “put a ring in (my ex’s) nose and lead him.” He quoted male Christian friends, popular book authors, no “Jezebel” spirit, I’m under his covering…like an umbrella and if I reject his leadership as God ordained, I get wet so to speak leaving his covering, BUT it is also I who breaks a hedge and allows for Satan to wreak havoc in our entire family because of my disobedience to God in disobeying my husband.

I was counseled to fast and pray MORE, anoint his pillow with oil so as he slept the Holy Spirit would honor my prayers penetrating him with dreams or visions. I was told to submit MORE, to simply do as he said DESPITE how he treated me…gaslighting, lies, verbal, emotional, economic, spiritual, sexual and physical abuse.

I did it ALL. I read every book, I sought our pastor, his family, three different times of Christian marriage counseling, His Needs Her Needs book study, older marrieds in the church that could help teach him proper headship and submission and how to be a Godly husband. I prayed more, I fasted more, I submitted more, I had an ongoing email correspondence with Dr Emerson Eggrich, author of Love and Respect [NOTE: ACFJ does not recommend Eggrich’s materials for abuse scenarios]. I implemented his advice to be QUIET, not speak, not voice my opinion verbally, I called 9-1-1… one police officer fussed at me, pregnant, hysterical sobbing, saying “This is your HUSBAND and here you are thinking God will bless you as you talk down on your HUSBAND?” He said this to me because I was telling him the words my ex called me and how he’d hurt me… fussed at by an officer… and YES, I anointed his pillow with oil.

And then, I broke.

Read the rest of this abuse survivor’s testimony HERE.