I’m going to do an experiment and just write. No format. No agenda. Just write whatever pops into my mind. It’s juvenile, selfish, and narcissistic.
Speaking of that, I just read a good “Aha!” article about narcissism HERE. It’s called Selfishness and Narcissism in Family Relationships. If that’s not your cup of tea, here are a couple of other links I’ve loved lately:
How Writing Daily Will Positively Influence Your Life at Positive Writer (See? This is what inspired me to just sit down and write!)
Rachel Miller has been going to bat lately on the whole male/female thing. Read a couple of her home runs HERE and HERE.
Four Resources for Talking to Your Children About Safe Touch at Humbled Homemaker
I’m going to a parenting seminar tonight done by Connected Families which is right here in the Twin Cities. This particular one will be taped to form the basis of an upcoming online seminar. The subject for tonight is sibling bickering. I could bring a few kids for a live demonstration.
Actually, I’ve been reading their books, How to Grow a Connected Family and Discipline that Connects with Your Child’s Heart, and I’ve been applying it to my parenting in general, but more specifically to my parenting of my ADHD/ODD child. It works. I mean, when I really work it – my daughter responds, which is a miracle because she hasn’t responded to anything else over the years. I’ll have to write a whole post on how Connected Families has already helped me in my parenting. I highly recommend going over to their blog and signing up to get their parenting tips. They are refreshing and practical. Try Turn a Big Meltdown into a Big Win for starters.
Some days it feels like everything I once believed in (not my faith in Christ – but everything else) is being torn up by the roots. I know this is God’s doing, and I’m glad. I’ve been going through all my old books and audio/video teachings and purging. Some of those things have kept me enslaved in unhealthy ways. I don’t want to look at them anymore.
I’m thinking of making a Salted Chocolate soap bar. Made with a lot of salt and organic cocoa butter. One of my customers gave me the idea yesterday. I can almost smell it. I love salt bars by our sinks. I tried using pump soap a couple of months ago since Target had them on sale. I bought four – one for each sink. In less than a week they were completely gone. My salt bars last a month. Salted Chocolate. I wish I had some chocolate right now, but I am gaining weight these days, so it’s best I don’t.
Even with exercising, I’m gathering extra fluff around my waist. Last summer I weighed less than I did when I got married. The stress was so huge, and I had no appetite. This summer I’m eating too much for comfort. My usually high metabolism is changing now that I’ve entered menopause. It was official in April. No cycles for a whole year. I’m 48. I had my last baby when I was 45. Anyway, I can’t just eat whatever I want to anymore without plump consequences.
While I’m on the subject of appearances, I’ll say that I’m not getting my hair highlighted anymore. I’m doing all over color. By myself. And I love it. Someone (I can’t remember who or how) tipped me off to eSalon last year. Their color is professional and offers me full coverage of my grey – plus it doesn’t seem to fade at all. My hair stylists (I’ve seen three in the past six months) have all said it looks great. I’ve colored my hair three times so far, and I’ve been happy as a hairy gorilla. (WHA? That gorilla just popped out of my head unannounced!) They have a great friend referral program too. I’ll put my link here: http://www.esalon.com/invite/nklejwa and if you decide to try out their color, the first order is half off. (Costs $20 normally – but $10 for your first time.) It’s saving me some serious dough. Getting my hair foiled every three months was outrageously expensive.
My new favorite thing is Audible. I’m actually going to write an entire post on Audible this summer (if I remember), so I won’t say much here other than that I’ve “read” three books in the last month just by listening in my car, when I’m getting ready for the day, and any other little tidbit of time where I’m working but not doing anything with my brain. (Rabbit trail: I’ve tried doing it while working out, but I’m way too distracted. I have to keep rewinding. I need to listen to my music workout playlist to get my adrenaline and muscles pumping. And there’s another post – what I love about Spotify.) When kids are around, it’s not as easy. The books I’m listening to are just fun books. I am glad for the break. The writing is inspiring. I miss reading a well written novel. Thank you Audible.
I miss this blog. I miss having time to really think through a subject and write about it. Since my husband left last year, I have very little time to myself. Writing requires time to sit and THINK. TIME to sit and think. Time to SIT and think. My 3 yo is taking his afternoon nap right now, and most of my kids are occupied. Even so, I have been interrupted numerous times. It’s OK when I’m just blabbing like this. One can blab on command. At least, this one can. But the only time I can attempt to write anything serious is at night or in the morning when kids are still in bed. And then I’m either exhausted or have too many things to do to get ready for the day. I DO miss this blog.
I’m not very happy with our dog. He is whining right now. I don’t remember why I bought him last year. I think I was trying to prove something, but what? He’s a nice dog, as dogs go. I am not a dog person. I just can’t seem to bond with him, even though he is as cute as any dog could possibly be. He poops. I hate that. He barks. I hate that too. He’s barking right now. I swear he knows I’m writing about him. He and my 3 yo are best friends. He bites David, and David pulls his tail. I go into fits when I see it, for both of their sakes, but neither one seems to mind much. Not each other, and not me. They just live without analysis.
That 3 yo potty trained himself this week. (Why can’t the dog do that?) He’s my last (well, minus the dog) – and I just couldn’t bring myself to do my usual method. Time sort of slipped by, and a couple of days ago he told me he wanted to go potty. So he did. And then he kept doing it. Who knew? He’s still pooping – but he’s got the peeing thing down.
Two of my kids are still in pajamas at 3:17 p.m. I just noticed this. And I’m realizing I better be done now. The dog is barking at the neighbor’s dog, and the two kids in pj’s are outside. The neighbors are shaking their heads.
Was this silly? Do you want to try it? If you are in the blabbing mood – just leave a comment and blab to your heart’s content. I’ll listen and smile.
I really, really enjoyed reading your ramblings and thoughts. I sense recovery and healing. Praise the Lord for that! I can relate to several of your topics, including menopause. I just finished a year of no cycles…..and I just turned 60. I still have energy but am losing my waistline. I keep my weight under control by work. I’m a professional cleaner. And, my 3 year old grandson also potty-trained himself a few months ago! I guess it’s true that when they’re ready, they’ll do it!!! Have a great day!
Yay!! You too!
you crack me up!!
Oh, Natalie! I love this! I can completely get where you’re at (at least most of it). I have no time to write. Not time for my blog. Too busy living and caring for my family, and getting sidetracked, and loving grandchildren… I keep wondering how I can keep up my blog when one has to live to gain the experience and wisdom to write about it, but then has no time due to the living!
God has given us a crazy, busy year complete with three adult children moving here and there, three new grandbabies born, vacations, etc. And in the last two weeks, we had to put our 3 yo favorite dog down because she was getting vicious with strangers. No way around it. What a hard thing to choose to end a life, even if it was a dog. So I get the dog thing. But God, my favorite dog?!
Then only three days after the dog, my daughter’s alpaca got sick, got brain damage from being down, leaving us to supply all her food and fluids by syringe for nine days! Only to put her down when she didn’t recover. Now we feed her baby 6 times a day. Oh, yes, we’re busy.
But God…. That is my favorite quote. He is my source of comfort and strength through all the business and confusion. Without Him, I would shrivel up and die.
BTW – that salted chocolate bar sounds wonderful. I get that too. We must be creative and living and breathing, all for His glory!
Thanks for letting me ramble. Felt good!
SOOOO fun to hear from you! Thank you for “talking” with me!! In real life over coffee would be awesome, but this is better than nothing.
You are a riot!
I still pay for foils every few months! Not sure when I will stop. I also pay for weekly one hour massages with the most amazing massage therapist ever. 40 for an hour is NOT bad. And she is GOOD.
I am addicted to Kombucha (plus 100 points for me you know – after last weeks sermon) and Trader Joes Old Fashioned Blister Peanuts. I haven’t had gluten in over 3 weeks now. I feel much better without it. And it is my only hope of losing weight…low carb.
I sometimes question why I got a dog last year as well….I do love her, kind of. But Hannah, who wanted her least, has bonded with her most and it has helped a lot in these somewhat tumultuous (although she isn’t bad at all ) teen years.
guilt has been on my mind a lot. I struggle with it lately – like I don’t do enough. I should cook more, do more with my kids, be a better wife, this and that and this and that.
Steve loves Audible in the car. I actually plug my phone in to the sound system and listen to my daily Bible reading.
Coloring is my current therapy – there are some awesome coloring books out there of doodles that are made more for adults.
I actually like getting older – I feel my tastes and priorities are more clearly defined and I don’t get so caught up in the trivial and the junk. I am more confident in dealing with difficult people in my life and understanding where to draw the line at having done enough and leaving the ball in their court.
Have you tried a progesterone cream? I get one from my chiro and it is helping a lot. My main symptom is night sweats and a few “warm times” during the day. I cannot FATHOM having a baby right now – I am 45. I think you would have to visit me in the loony bin. But I do love babies. I am going to sign up for the VanZee’s nieces care calendar to help with their newborn triplets. I figure that will REALLY give me my baby fix.
That is all I have.
This was so much fun to read! I bought my DIL an adult coloring book and adult crayons for her birthday. She loved them. I wanted it for myself – and my 9 yo was green with envy. There are some beautiful books out there.
I want to know who your message therapist is. $40 an hour? That’s incredible.
I like getting older too for all the same reasons. Maybe we’re in the sweet spot of life. You know? Before everyone starts to die? We better enjoy it while it lasts.
I can’t get massages, but I LOVE using these balls. https://www.yogatuneup.com/therapy-ball-plus-pair-tote
There is a book, The Role Model by Jill Miller with instructions (check the library), or if you, Nat, are interested I have a DVD you can borrow.
These look great! Thanks for sharing!
Natalie, Thanks for writing this. It’s going to take a long time for me to unpack all the great info and links. The Connected Families site I can already tell is going to be really helpful, I’m looking forward to reading the post that you are planning to devote to it. While I’m not gray enough to want to dye my hair just yet (33), I will definitely check out the hair color link when the time comes –the seventh baby (on the way) might expedite that process though so I might be checking into it sooner than I think. On a different note, my heart went through the floor when I read what you’ve been dealing with…such a trial. I’m sure it has been beyond painful for you but I don’t pity you because I know you view yourself as God’s own treasured daughter, mostly I am very sorry for your husbands’s loss. Thank you for all you do to encourage, it means a lot to me.
Thank you, Veronica. <3
Natalie,
First off, I want to thank you. Your openness and honesty is so encouraging. Refreshing. As some of us that read your blog that are walking a similar path in life, I for one, can relate to your ramblings. This journey is difficult, but I have found sisters along the way. And I am ever grateful for each one’s words and hearts. Thank you.
When my journey began, I had a dear friend that told me that sometimes we need to take everything we think we know, unpack it, hold it to the Word of God and if it fits in to that, put it back in. Everything else, toss out. When my understanding of what the Word really says is in question, I have found answers. God has been gracious to me. I have had to toss a good many things. But as with our homes, when we declutter our minds and hearts, life is so much better. I am a stronger woman today than I was 2 years ago, when my journey began. I am stronger than I was just a year ago. And I will be even stronger tomorrow, than I am today. And my strength comes not from within, as I once toiled so hard to cultivate. It comes from knowing my worth in Christ, alone. Many do not recognize me anymore. I have let go of many things that bound me. But I am Real now. Freedom from bondage, from abuse, from my own misconceptions about who God is and who He wants me to be, tastes delicious.
May God bless you as you pick your way through each day, and may you find the strength for each day, coming out even stronger, the next.
That’s a beautiful testimony. Full of grace. Thank you.
loved this. I can’t blab right now because I got to go shower but I will come back later and do it.
Ha!
So I’m back (after 5 days!). I should be going to bed to nap with my hubby who is home today. But decided to check my email and read your blog.
My parents are here visiting from Brazil and as usual I have a list with things I want to do when they are here. I always have this illusion that while they are here I will have more time and get lots of cleaning, organizing and projects done. It never happens. It’s been 2 weeks since they arrived and everything is still the same. The homeschool curriculum I want to go through is still in the box. The stuff I want to sell on Ebay is still sitting on the shelves. The showers that I want to clean are still dirty.
God help me!
I am also gardening a lot. So many projects to begin and finish. I got 3 strawberry boxes that are producing all the berries we want to eat. I’m so happy about that. That was one of my goals: not to buy any strawberries from the store this year.
I found a wild blackberry patch in our property a couple years back and finally sat down and watched YouTube videos on how to care for them. So now I have a new project and I am asking hubby to build me more boxes. He doesn’t want to. So I’m figuring out some other way to have blackberries without a raised bed.
I have been cooking a lot too. We have turned vegan, as a family, 6 days a week for the last 4 months. Hubby and I lost 30+ pounds each and we are walking everyday. It has been great. It’s been our alone time to talk and encourage each other. WE get to take care of our physical bodies and each other at the same time.
My kids are enjoying the new lifestyle and even sharing with friends and teachers at VBS this week.
I have so many books I want to read but never seem to get to them all.
My kids are doing well. I’m purposefully not worrying about them. I keep telling myself that when they become adults what I’m teaching them will finally sink it.
However, I worry that all the Bible studies I plan to do with them never get finished, and some never begin.
Summer is my favorite time of the year, so I try my best to enjoy it and relax. Winter is really hard for me and I dread it.
Our pool liner is ripping and we need to replace it. We don’t have the money. Hubby, not a DIY type of guy, is even considering replacing it ourselves. That will be a miracle! Praying God will make a way.
There’s more but I got to go check on hubby who probably gave up on me coming to nap with him. :/
That was such fun to read! I love getting a glimpse into your life! Tell your husband I thank him for sharing you with us.
Lots of fun info here!
Before I get to my rambling, I just wanted to say that I am still praying for you and your marriage situation.
Esalon sounds really great! I am VERY gray and only 39! It runs in my family. I loved doing my own highlights for awhile, but it was hard to keep up with the gray… Now I am pregnant and I just keep it all brown, close to my natural color.
Speaking of pregnancy, I am expecting #7, which is another miracle since I had multiple late miscarriages a few years ago. They were all unexplained, since I test negative for thrombophilias and autoimmune disorders… God was so good, though.
I just ” happened” to land in the office of a high-risk doctor just as the drama was really getting started. He suggested that I use blood thinner injections ( Lovenox) and baby asprin for my next pregnancy. ( It is assumed that the scientists have not discovered all the thrombophilias and auto-immune disorders.) The idea behind the thinners is to protect the cord and placenta from clotting…. and the truth is that many women with multiple miscarriage could be blessed with this treatment. Long story short, I had my toddler with this treatment, and he has blessed my socks off!
Now we are on to Lovenox pregnancy #2… It feels crazy that I may actually have *another* baby after all my losses a few years ago. God has been so good! I have been so blessed, it’s just crazy to think.( Anyone who is interested should check out : ” One in Four, Shifting the Balance on Pregnancy Loss” by Barbara Toppin)
Speaking of girly stuff… Your peri- menopause experience sounds like it was nice and short! I would love to be blessed like that! Do you just have good genes, or what?
Feel free to ramble about peri-menopause and any tips you have!
I guess that is it for my ramble… Keep yours coming, I am looking forward to checking out your links!
Congratulations, Lisa! I pray this pregnancy is uneventful and has a happy ending!