Are Boundaries Biblical?

Are Boundaries Biblical? Visionary Womanhood

I’ve got another post coming tomorrow that continues with yesterday’s, BUT Leslie Vernick just published a helpful article about boundaries this week called, Are You Setting Boundaries or Just Being Manipulative? It’s perfect for what we’re talking about over here. Be sure to check it out. In the comments section, Leslie got the following question:

Please explain how boundaries are a biblical principle.

I love how she answered that:

…good question and one that is asked a lot. Substitute the word boundary for stewardship and I think you will see more clearly that you and I are called to a steward (be responsible) for our money, our time, our energy, our talents, our health, our emotional life, our spiritual life, etc. Being a good steward also means that I am not going to allow another person to control me, only the love of God and the Spirit of God controls me. Boundaries are put in place so that I don’t give control of my resources (whatever they are) to another person to steward or waste unless I am incapacitated in some way. Perhaps the best verse is Galatians 6:5 “For we are each responsible for our own conduct.” Stewardship is a simple acknowledgement of our human limitations, we cannot do everything everyone else might want us to or demand we do and so when we set boundaries around what I will do or won’t do, what I can do or can’t do, what I’m called to do or not called to do, we are communicating what we believe God has called us to do with our time, talents, money, energy and life. Hope that helps.

Here Leslie talks more about what Biblical suffering really looks like (and it’s not allowing destructive people to infect us with their poison!)

For a few more days you can sign up for Leslie’s CONQUER group. I did! Find out more about it HERE.

A mother of nine, homemaker, business owner (Apple Valley Natural Soap), and most importantly, a Wemmick loved by the Woodcarver.

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Categories: Deprogramming from Christian Lies, Domestic Abuse
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7 thoughts on “Are Boundaries Biblical?”

  1. Very well said. She slices the finer points of these major misunderstandings like a surgeon with a scalpel. It’s never a good deed to hide or ignore sin. By God’s grace I have been able to, over time, communicate this message to my mother but not nearly as eloquently or efficiently as Leslie just did. I “love” how she didn’t give women in such situations the free reign to divorce as is so often heard in cases of abuse but at the same time saying that they should “not” by any means endure the abuse. It might very well mean, however, that she has to separate for a time (maybe a lifetime in some cases) or have her husband imprisoned for his actions in her endeavors to hold him responsible for his sin and to bring the dark places to light and as Leslie said there is plenty of suffering potentially involved in doing so (setting boundaries). Thank you, Natalie for sharing this and for your own good work in the area of advocating for Biblical womanhood.

    • Thank you for bringing up the issue of divorce, Ann. If anyone is interested in learning more about divorce for cases of abuse, there are two excellent books that go deep into God’s Word for solid answers. One is called Divorce and Remarriage in the Church by David Instone Brewer, and the other is called Not Under Bondage: Biblical Divorce for Abuse, Adultery, and Desertion by Barbara Roberts.

      • I would respectfully disagree that there is ever grounds for Biblical divorce though there are many verses that might appear to sanction it. I’ve been helped in “so” many ways by books (including “Three Decades of Fertility”, which blessed me so much)…I do think there is value in reading books with caution when it comes to interpreting Biblical moral values…I am hesitant to say anything further on this, I don’t feel called to it and I don’t feel like it is my place to do so. May God’s wisdom and mercy abound in our hearts. I know I need it.

        • It’s okay to disagree! Many Bible scholars older and wiser disagree on this issue. I grew up believing one way until I studied it from both sides. I’m not saying the same would happen for others, but studying both sides of any issue always helps (and never hurts) to confirm our convictions. I can assure you that both of the books I recommended use the Word of God as their plumb line. There are other resources that speak to this issue as well, but these are a great place to start.

        • One thing to keep in mind is that legal separation is not consistently defined across states (or countries, probably!). I had to divorce to get the legal protection I needed, as separation in my state was not separate enough. . .

          • Yes. There are many other examples where divorce is necessary for the well being and safety of women and children. The institution of marriage is not more important to God than human lives. When vows are broken, it is tragic. But it isn’t the abuse victim who broke the vows. Abuse is abandonment on many levels.

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