Image by Gabriel Santiago
Our 13 yo son played his last football game of the season this weekend. My oldest married son and his wife, along with my parents, husband, and two of our kids, enjoyed the game (they won) even though it was unexpectedly HOT (80’s). The sun burned us right up, because we Minnesotans thought autumn was here and forgot about sunscreen in the confusion of the sudden weather change. (We’re back down to the 60’s today.)
After the game we came back to our home and had a taco bar.
(Rabbit Trail: for chicken tacos throw some frozen chicken breasts in the crock pot along with some salsa and taco seasoning – and crock it for a few hours. Amazing deliciousness. Zero work. I don’t share stuff like that because I think, “EVERYONE already knows that kind of stuff!!!” (Rabbit Trail within a Rabbit Trail: when you are writing, never use all caps or multiple exclamation marks. All caps means you are shouting and multiple exclamation marks is kid stuff. But since I want you all to see what I do BEFORE I edit anything, (i.e. I want you to see me in all my immature glory), I’m going to leave some of this stuff in here while still giving tips to those of you who like to blog/write and want to hone your skills.) Back to the original Rabbit Trail: But then I remind myself that I didn’t know about that until this year when my sister shared it with me. For one of you, chicken tacos will be a life-changer. I can feel it.)
(Oh dear. Another Rabbit Trail: I just started making pressed coffee (read about how to do that HERE) because my Keurig is on the fritz. I enjoy the more intense coffee flavor, and it’s less expensive. Also – doesn’t take up as much space on my counter top, although the Keurig is still there, so that makes no sense. And if you’re wondering what this has to do with tacos and storms, it doesn’t. Well, the tacos are food – and that made me think of coffee for some reason – and that made my rabbit start running down another trail.)
OK, back to my narrative. Shortly after dinner my daughter began to ramp up, and it was escalating into something that would make your hair stand on end. My son and his wife along with our 19 yo decided it was a good time to make their exit (they were going to work on a project and watch a movie at their home). Thankfully my husband was here, and he handled the second hurricane to erupt that weekend.
I was able to slip out of the house, and the difference in atmosphere was striking. Inside it was utter chaos. Screaming, pounding, slamming of doors (all from one child). Inside I was sweating, heart pounding, a bundle of nerves and mind-numbing frustration and pain. Outside everything was relatively quiet. The air had cooled off, and the leaves were dancing. I collapsed on our swing, and my 3 yo son climbed into my lap.
We listened to sounds. Crickets. Traffic (we live by a freeway – and yes, we can hear both crickets and traffic at the same time). Cheers from a sport game at the high school stadium less than a mile away. Our dog yipping at a woman strollering a baby. An airplane overhead (Minneapolis/St. Paul airport a few miles away). Also faint sounds of The Child raging in the house, but that seemed far off. Like another life. Someone else’s life. Not mine. Not now.
My heart slowed to a normal beat. I breathed in deeply. I love autumn. I love the colors, the smell, the sounds. I loved that solid, soft skinned toddler boy on my lap, his expressive eyes and long eyelashes looking around quietly in magical wonder. We both soaked in it for several delicious minutes. I thought about how gratefulness plays such a huge role in happiness. In those moments I felt happy. So thankful for the peace. For my little corner of the world. Living in the glory of that moment was just a wee bit healing.
I heard God in that moment. Someone recently commented that they find it hard to hear Him. Oh, I’ve felt that intensely during the past two years. But this is how He visits us, sometimes. In these blinking moments. Wherever Truth is told, that is where God is. That is where He is speaking. I have a hunch He does this often each day, and I’m just missing it. I’m not listening. I’m not looking. I’m not waiting in anticipation for Him to touch my life.
I don’t think He speaks to us in audible words, like, “Hey George – hope you’re enjoying the nice breeze tonight. Love ya, Bud.” He just touches us at our core, and if we’re paying attention, we “hear” it. I’ve often wished I lived out in the country because I feel His presence so much more intensely outside. But He is in the city, too. He is in the traffic. He is in the football game. He is in the crickets. He is in the skin of my baby. He is everywhere beauty is (so maybe that actually rules out the traffic). Everywhere Truth is.
I want to be more intentional about listening for Him. Try this. Listen – and believe Him when you feel His presence. Whisper, “Thank you, Jesus. You are here. You are HERE with me! Thank you.” Do it right then, because the moment will pass, and you will have to go back inside to the chaos and the stress. But you will have gathered up a pocket of quiet, so it’s yours now – and nothing can take that away.
How I do adore you! I love the real, the honest, the quirky. I’m so glad that God gave you those moments of quiet in the midst of the crazy. I’m glad that you heard Him and were blessed. Too often I’m caught in the crazy, or even in the mundane busyness, and forget to listen for the tender voice of my Shepherd. Oh, how I need to hear Him and rest!
Jeepers, when I read this I had to click over to my post and see what you saw that inspired adoration. I wanted to adore myself, too. (SERIOUSLY!) Talk about ridiculously Wemmick. We crave kudos. BUT – I am resting (can I cringe just a little?) in my Wemmickness as well as His grace for that. I pray you WILL see and hear Him today in your own little corner and rest in His love.
I love that you shared the rabbit trails, they made me chuckle. I’m glad that you found a lovely bit of time. Thank you for sharing whatever is in your head. I enjoy reading what you write.
The same thing happens to me….that still, small Voice…it cuts through the chaos of the storm and lets you breathe.
I wanted to write to thank you ….long story short….on Friday, I found a bookmarked post of yours about Fools that I saved last year. I had forgotten about it, and I haven’t been back to your blog since then. So I re-visited your blog. That simple post set in motion a whole start of recovery from my abusive, fool mother (culminating in no contact, which was the last resort after trying everything possible in my power). And also it helped me to start to heal after an abusive church situation…but my favorite part of visiting your blog was your recommendation of Studio C Comedy!!! It has been so healing to laugh at clean comedy (it’s hard to find). We love it.
You never know when a simple act of posting can help someone so much….Thanks again
Nanci
That’s awesome! I’m so glad to hear this!!
Just wanted to let you know how much i appreciate you!!! 😉 Some days you make me laugh some days i cry but it’s always so REAL and makes me feel normal my life feel normal or at least that I’m not alone. As a woman and as a Christian I find it hard to find like minded that just keep it REAL. So thank you. May God bless you with many moments with Him. And trust me they are just as hard to hear in the country. Mom of 6 (25-2)
sounds yummy
Thanks for the rabbit trail too! I am going make chicken tacos
Ha! Enjoy!
Oh, sweet Natalie, I just read your last 3 posts in one sitting. I have been checking your blog every couple of days waiting to hear from you. I’m so sorry you are at a hard place right now. I was divorced 17+ years ago and it was soooo hard. It was such a trying, sad time of my life. BUT it was a time when I felt God the closest to me.
I also have a 12 y.o. that on the surface seems to be my biggest challenge. But I’m learning that the quiet ones can be as challenging if not more. :/ Parenting is a hard job. And it never ends. :/ What can we do but cling to Him that knows it all???
When I became a Christian in 1993, one of the first verses the Lord gave me was Psa 46:10 “Be still and know that I’m God.” When my life is chaotic and noisy, I go into my shell: I curl up into a ball on the ground, close my eyes, and meditate “be still and know that I’m God.” There I am safe. He’s there. He’s got me!
I’m in a good place right now. (Praise Jesus!) However, I have learned that in this world, things can fall apart unexpectedly and suddenly. While I’m thankful for good times, I don’t put my trust in those “good” feelings.
You will make it. He is taking you THROUGH all this. You will come out on the other side. In the meantime, hang on to Him. Close your eyes and “be still and know that He is God.”
If we lived closer, I would invite you over and cook you some food and have long conversations. <3 I'm praying for you. Jesus' got you.
Thank you for these good words, Tereza! Love you to pieces.
That was really nice to read.
I had a very happy/grateful moment today. I’m always a little cautious of them! …..my default mindset is that life is supposed to be a struggle but for me at the moment I have a lot to be grateful for.
Obviously there’s a lot to it but I am thankful your husband was able to help out with your daughter.