Yesterday I brought up the modern-day theological thinking in Reformed circles regarding divorce along with the idea that this way of viewing divorce was very likely fabricated by people with an agenda. Today I want to draw your attention to another teaching popularized in the last forty years that has done just as much damage to women, and subsequently, to the Church of Jesus Christ and its effectiveness in the world. This is a great example of how the Church’s fear of something can feed into our desire to fix it ourselves by making up doctrines that aren’t even in Scripture.
Barbara Roberts at the Cry for Justice blog has just written two excellent articles (Part One and Part Two) about Genesis 3:16. I am highlighting these articles here because I think they are extremely important. You will also get links to further your own study of this subject when you click over there. Here is the verse in question:
To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire (Hebrew: teshuqah) shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” — Genesis 3:16
Teaser for the first article:
“In 1975, second-wave feminism was just getting off the ground. Conservative Christians were aghast. How could they stop feminism gaining ground in the church? In their minds, feminism and liberal theology were close cousins. Conservative Christians were keen to find arguments that would prevent feminism infecting the church. And readers of this blog can easily imagine how male pharisees in influential positions wanted to fix a triple-security lock onto the portcullis of their castle….
…Since 1975, many evangelical Christians have swallowed and passed on Foh’s notion. Many conservative theologians gladly took it up when Foh’s paper was published and have been disseminating it ever since. In book after book, you will find it referred to (or presented as a fact, without Foh even being cited). Since it has been recycled so often it has now acquired, in complementarian circles, the lustre of orthodox, age-old doctrine.”
Teaser for the second article:
In interpreting God’s announcements, we need to take care that our interpretation doesn’t clash with the rest of Scripture. One way we can check if our interpretation is valid is to see whether it is consistent with
- the immediate context: Genesis 3
- the big picture:
(a) what the Bible tells us about God’s character
(b) what the Bible teaches elsewhere about relationships between men and womenFurthermore, if our interpretation is not authenticated (found) in the big patterns in human history and culture, we need to pencil a big question mark on it. Scripture interprets Scripture (the world doesn’t interpret Scripture), but it is foolish to ignore general knowledge, common sense, and broad patterns in human experience. In fact, the book of Proverbs repeatedly points us to common sense and patterns in human experience!
Knowledge is power. Arm thyself.
I had already read at least one of these articles (not sure if I read the other — must double check) and just loved it.
I have to confess that I grew up in a very different environment than it seems you did and many of your readers did. It’s been within the past ten years that I have really started finding out how common these ideas of male headship are within the church. I was never raised with the idea that a woman wanted to take over a man’s position. Sadly, these kinds of ideas have recently started to be introduced into my church, seemingly specifically chosen by someone who went looking for something to encounter the perceived threat of feminism.
But what was written in this article describes exactly what both my upbringing and my observations have led me to conclude. The negative result for women of the first sin seems to have been that women have an unhealthy longing for things from men. The reason I say unhealthy is because this longing can make women stay in terrible relationships where they are clearly disrespected and not loved, in the hope that they might — if they try hard enough — get a crumb of love.
There are so many passages from this article that I could quote because I loved them, but I just share this one list of the things many women tend to long for in a man. It said they long for a man who will:
– Have compassion on her weaknesses and failures
– Share his vulnerabilities with her so she can help and support him
– Help her in her reasonable needs
– Respect and if need be guide or moderate her yearnings
– And honor and help her fulfill her good aspirations
When I read this list it was all I could do not to shout “Yes! This sums up exactly what I want!” Now, I do have a few friends who would say that this is *not* what they are looking for — at all. That they don’t need these things from men. And maybe that is true. But honestly — this sums up very well what my heart longs for. And I suspect it is true for many women as well.
I am slowly working on the understanding that I need to look for God to have these needs fulfilled and not to mankind. Anything that can come from another human will just be an added blessing.
Thank you for your honesty. Denial among Christians is very common.
I really appreciate the links to Patrick Doyle’s videos. I have watched several of them and enjoyed them very much. It’s not that they are new information to me — they pretty much summarize the beliefs with which I was raised — but they are a good reinforcement for me.
I hope that this doesn’t sound bad, but I’d love it if you could explain why you chose to link to this particular video in response to my comment. I have watched the video and appreciated it and found that it reflected my beliefs. But I feel like something is wrong with me because I can’t see the connection between its content and what I wrote above. There is probably an obvious connection and it is just my slow processing. I apologize for that! But I imagine I can get even more out of the video if I could make the connection with what I wrote that you have made. I am guessing you think I was referencing (either directly or indirectly) some form of denial. Denial of which specific truth were you thinking of here? Or am I on the wrong track altogether? Thanks!
And thanks again for your courage in sharing many of the things you are sharing. I have found your Facebook page and read through many of the comments there. God is using you! May he give you the courage and strength to keep being used.
Maybe I linked to the wrong denial video. He has two of them. 🙂 I was just reaffirming what you said here : “I do have a few friends who would say that this is *not* what they are looking for — at all. That they don’t need these things from men. And maybe that is true. But honestly — this sums up very well what my heart longs for. And I suspect it is true for many women as well.”
I wasn’t necessarily linking just for your benefit, but also for other readers – it was more of a “YES! And here’s a video on the subject of denial vs. being real and honest.”
Sorry for the confusion. It’s been a while since I heard that video – maybe it didn’t relate! (sheepish grin)
I cannot find a way to embrace the entirety of this interpretation. It seems a significant leap to presume that God’s Genesis pronouncement over Adam inferred that Adam’s male descendants would be inclined to rule “harshly” over their wives. The reality that abuse is a widespread occurrence in this sin-filled world does not necessarily prove the context in reverse. If that presumption is correct, then virtually all men should be inclined to be abusive as these tendencies would be part of their in-born nature. It is dangerous business to infer that the word “harshly” exists when it is not clearly presented in Scripture.
With regard to subjection under God’s garden judgment, commentaries on this section of Scripture almost universally indicate that, although Adam and Eve were equals before the fall, God established an order after, and Eve’s will was deemed subject to Adam’s. Unpleasant as that seems, it was God’s chosen consequence. Yet under the blood of Christ, the oneness can be restored even if the order remains, as seen in Ephesians 5.
Furthermore, with regard to the “desire for her husband,” it seems quite common for women to seek to rule the roost, so to speak. Many are the primary decision-makers in the household and make a stink when they don’t get their way. Women may laugh about how their husbands have been trained (manipulated) to give in to their agenda, “if they know what’s good for them,” and their husbands become accommodating to keep the peace. “Happy wife, happy life,” they say. In this way, the godly marriage dynamic has been distorted, yet this kind of relational pattern may be consistent with God’s Genesis pronouncement.
In the NT, Paul’s directives toward husbands and wives in Ephesians 5 is but a portion of a broader discourse on the basic tenets of a Christian lifestyle. “Walk in a manner worthy of your calling…Be angry and do not sin…Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth…Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God…” There is no finger-pointing here, but rather inspiration to allow Christ to be revealed in all that we do. If it is presumed that the directive to husbands was necessary to address their failure to treat their wives well, then it should also be presumed that his comments to wives stemmed from their failure to respect or submit to their husbands. We cannot have it both ways.
With regard to our female tendencies, I completely agree that a women’s emotional “desire for her husband” could make us more vulnerable to abuse. In this vein, many victims might be more inclined to leave their abusers if they were empowered to do so, being grounded in the fullness of truth, without which the burden of obligation to remain with an abuser is great.
If I had known then what I know now, I would have left my abuser long before I did.
for your consideration:
https://jenniferjolene.wordpress.com/2016/02/26/two-verses-i-never-understood-before-genesis-47-and-316/
These are the best, most accurate translations:
Genesis 4:7 – “Will you not, if you do the right thing, be uplifted? And if you don’t do the right thing, there at the entryway lies a male goat, a sin offering. He is turning towards you, so rule over him.”
Genesis 3:16 – “To the woman he said, ‘I will greatly increase your pain in pregnancy. In painful toil you will bear children but your turning will be towards your husband (like a sheep turns toward its shepherd); therefore he will rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16)