Waffling On What To Do About Christmas
By Contributing Writer, Marcia Wilwerding
The Waffling Begins
I suppose this post is as much to do with where our family is now in regard to what to do about Christmas as it is about telling you what to do if your family is still waffling on the subject. While some people have never once questioned their observance of this popular holiday, other families, like ours, have struggled for years over what to do or not do with what is considered “the most wonderful time of the year.” A little background history may help to clarify just what I mean.
You would think it would be a no-brainer since our homes were very similar when it came to celebrating Christmas. Both decorated the house, had a tree, sent out Christmas cards, got together with family, gave and opened gifts, and watched television specials and sporting events. I just assumed we would do the same in our home. At first, it pretty much was the same as we gathered for Christmas dinner at Grandma’s house, lounging in front of the tube or visiting with relatives around the kitchen table.
However, somewhere along the line, my husband and I were introduced to the “pagan” origins of this holiday. Though we had already decided we weren’t going the Santa Claus route, as the children came along, we began to question what we should and should not include in this celebration, and even whether or not we should observe it at all. After all, we didn’t want to be guilty of perpetuating error through future generations.
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Struggles Over Letting Go
Yet, lo and behold, the very first year we decided not to decorate for Christmas, the Avon lady felt sorry for us and loaded us down with a dilapidated fake tree and a box full of ancient decorations. “Oh well,” we thought, “maybe just one more year.” However, when the electric star perched precariously atop the off-green monstrosity nearly caught the house on fire, we both determined then and there we would not be tempted again.
Even so, the next year, and for several years afterward, things would begin to get festive all around us, and I would once again get the itch to decorate. Steering clear of anything red and green, however, I turned to blue, white, and silver, along with snowmen and snowflakes. These winter-centered decorations certainly made our home more cheerful and bright during the long, cold winters of central Illinois. And we didn’t miss the tree at all.
My husband’s hang up, on the other hand, was giving gifts. He always wanted to give something to his parents out West, of course, and you had to have something for the kids to open. I, too, wanted to be a blessing to my family and the children, so we decided we just had to give gifts. Maybe we didn’t have a tree, but that stack of wrapped boxes in the corner was a blessing to our little ones nonetheless.
One tradition which has stood the test of time and survived all the cuts..is the goody bags. You see, the same year the Avon lady tried to rescue our Christmas, the mayor in town showed up dressed as Santa with bags of goodies for the kids: an orange, an apple, a Hershey bar, and a can of Pepsi. This reminded me of years past when my grandparents used to hang stockings for us children on Christmas Eve and fill them with similar treats. I decided from then on to replicate this surprise for our children each year, so they, too, would have a special treat on Christmas morning.
When the kids were teenagers, we were searching for a new church and happened upon a pastor whose family didn’t celebrate Christmas either. Instead of observing that day, they would make a trip to visit friends who also chose not to observe that day. We, however, kept going to Grandma’s house. The family connection was just too strong. We simply could not find it in our hearts to give up on our extended families once Christmas rolled around.
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What We’ve Learned, and Where We Are Now
As you can see, the waffling on what to do about Christmas has really been a struggle for us. Unfortunately, as a result of our indecision, our grown children are all over the place with how they observe or do not observe this time of year. One son and his family do not observe the Day at all, opting to postpone gift giving until New Years Day; one son and his family keep a traditional, Christ-centered Christmas with his wife’s family; our daughter tags along with Mom and Dad in whatever we are doing (or not doing); and our youngest son in the Marines will most likely be with a church family this year. None of them are planning to be home for Christmas, except our daughter still living at home.
But I really can’t blame them. Last year was the worst year ever. We didn’t go anywhere, and no one came to our house. Grandma and Grandpa have been gone for many years, and the unpredictable weather in Southwest Michigan prevents us from venturing to any of our extended families’ homes in other states. It was a pretty quiet meal with only my husband, our daughter, and me. Even the goody bags were sad and droopy.
I believe that lonely Christmas day last year was the turning point for us in our view of this holiday. It just seemed almost sacrilegious to ignore it any longer. In fact, seeing what we decided to keep about the holiday — giving and receiving gifts, feasting, winter decorating — it is apparent we became even more pagan in our observance than if we had included what Christmas is actually meant to promote: the honor and worship of our Lord Jesus Christ in remembering His birth.
In discussing our dilemma with our current pastor, he agreed that, though we may not celebrate Christmas as others do, one cannot ignore it and should, in fact, see it as a means of sharing the Gospel with those whose hearts may be opened to receive it during that season. It seems as though the renowned Baptist preacher, Charles H. Spurgeon, also viewed Christmas in this way. He preached many Christmas messages during his ministry, stating:
Since it is lawful, and even laudable, to meditate upon the incarnation of the Lord upon any day in the year, it cannot be in the power of other men’s superstitions to render such a meditation improper for to-day. Regarding not the day, let us, nevertheless, give God thanks for the gift of His dear Son.
And, on another occasion:
…I wish there were ten or a dozen Christmas-days in the year; for there is work enough in the world, and a little more rest would not hurt laboring people. Christmas-day is really a boon to us, particularly as it enables us to assemble round the family hearth and meet our friends once more. Still, although we do not fall exactly in the track of other people, I see no harm in thinking of the incarnation and birth of the Lord Jesus.[1]
Yet, even the Reformers were not immune to vacillating on this subject, and many who started out excluding all the Catholic holidays, including Christmas, eventually ended up allowing the keeping of them only as unto the Lord.[2]
In conclusion, I would say our family is currently in agreement with all of these men. Though we cannot observe Christmas as the heathen do, we can no longer ignore it or miss the opportunity to share the true story of Christ with others. We still do not have a clear plan for this year, but I can almost guarantee our observance will include appropriate Scripture readings, music about the birth of our Savior (including our favorite, Handel’s Messiah), and the sharing of food and gifts with family and loved ones.
Has your family struggled with what to do about Christmas? How have you finally reached a conclusion to your waffling? Please share your comments with us.
[1] Tom Ascol, “Spurgeon on Christmas,” Founders Ministries Blog, accessed December 1, 2012, http://blog.founders.org/2005/12/spurgeon-on-christmas.html.
[2] I like the conclusion this minister makes: Jeff Meyers, “Christmas & John Calvin,” Jeff Meyers, accessed December 1, 2012, http://jeffreyjmeyers.blogspot.com/2007/11/christmas-john-calvin.html.
Tags: Christmas
http://humanitarian.worldconcern.org/2012/12/14/how-one-family-radically-changed-their-christmas-giving/
This is a link to a story about some friends of ours….together they bought a well in a thirsty land instead of expensive “stuff” for each other. We got chickens for someone in Africa last year because our children love their own chickens (and their eggs) so much
We believe in using the holiday to preach the gospel through musical presentations at our church. We work hard to tell the story through drama, music, and dance so that those who might not come to a Sunday morning church service can hear the good news. Our tree, if we happen to have one, may have Jesse Tree ornaments, nativities, or other Christ symbols that help us focus on His Word.
We also play this game, serving each other secretly, throughout the advent season:
http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=J9MM9JNU
I simply LOVE the last straw game. The video is really cute. Thank you so much for sharing these excellent ideas.
This struggle is not just one you and your family have taken on but our family as well. Here is were we are today, we talked about all the CAtholic holidays on the calandar, who the “saints” were and what thier stands were on finding that they stood for love of the Lord and sharing Christ with others. We talked about what we wanted to do when that MONTH rolled around. We have a memory tree (our pine tree) that we fill with ornaments from Christmases past, together remembering each year together. We have our stockings hung that we all contribute to with love notes or little trinkets for eachother as a way to share our love for eachother and to think of others. We decorate with garland and lights because I have warm memories of my mom going overboard with garland and lights in our home. I don’t do as much as she I try to keep it a little simple but in a way that I remember as a tradition. We give throughout the year not just in December, but the caroling is a blast this time of year! *smile* That and singing them as we take cookies and treats to the neighbors this month is a lot of fun! *smile* So, we focus on God not just this time of year but all year long in different ways allowing ourselves to show His love and joy in different ways. Have fun rowing and learning along with the rest of us. *big smile* Sincerely, Mommy of two growing blessings and so much more!
I neglected to mention in my previous comment that we do a yearly picture with Santa in the mall. We tell him about Jesus and the reason we celebrate Christmas. This year’s santa was not very good about actually talking about anything with the kids, but last year the man talked about how Jesus was a fistherman. *smile* It was great to see them enjoying a conversation about Jesus with the store santa. *smile* They dress up like santa and his elf and say they are going to take the money they get for the pictures to get things for kids who have nothing. Their hearts are in the right place, so we allow it for a short time. *smile* Pretend is good and knowing that they are rooted in His truths is the goal. They want to share the love of Jesus in a different way, I’m good with that. 8big smile* Have a lovely day. Sinerely, Mommy of two growing blessings & so much more!
I love how you have not only incorporated things from the past but also are creating new traditions with your own children. They will, no doubt, have many wonderful memories of Christmas with their family to share with their children, also.
Marcia, I appreciate this post so much. YES, we too have waffled on celebrating Christmas, and how. I really like the quotes you included here from Spurgeon and the Reformers.
We went through a time where our trees got smaller and smaller…the nativity scenes larger and larger. We kicked Santa out way before that even
But we still wrestled with the fact that Christmas isn’t a Biblical holiday…it’s a cultural one. Can we “redeem” it though? Husband and I decided “yes”. We try so very hard to keep Christ-focused. Very difficult when we get so busy with our family traditions and gatherings. But…we strive.
Thanks for your time in this post. And your story about the Avon lady cracked me up!
This Avon lady was a real corker. She was a German Lutheran with a heavy accent which only added to her charm. I’ll never forget her shock when she saw me preparing hamburgers (eating meat) on Good Friday. With face aghast, she cried, “And you call yourself a CHRISTIAN!” Being raised Baptist, I had no clue what she was talking about. Les understood perfectly.
Great post, Marcia! This has been an issue we have waffled and changed on through the years, and we continue to discuss and grow and change. I forwarded this post to my husband and then immediately found that he had forwarded it to me and the same moment I was forwarding to him, lol! We both really liked it and it promoted good discussion. Thanks for taking the time to put your thoughts together and for sharing openly. We both enjoyed the ‘surprise’ ending!
Oh, Molly, that is so funny.
Hope you are able to come to a good ending, too, to your discussions and wafflings. The Lord knows we love Him and want to worship Him in spirit and in truth. He has promised to guide us into all truth, and we just have to trust Him for that. God bless you and yours. And, thank you for your encouraging words.