Virtuous Wife: She’s a Busy Lady!

By Contributing Writer, Kelly Crawford

“She seeks wool, and flax, and works willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants’ ships; she brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is yet night, and gives meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She girds her legs with strength, and strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good; her candle does not go out by night. She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She reaches out her hand to the poor; yes, she reaches her hands to the needy.”

Proverbs 31:13-20

It’s impossible to talk about the virtuous wife without talking some about her duties at home. Notice that the bulk of Proverbs 31 involves describing those duties.

Read that carefully to get a clear picture of the virtuous wife. Times have changed, cultures have changed, but the work of a virtuous wife has not!

Recently a working friend said to me, “I just think I’d go out of my mind with boredom at home”.

Her comment reveals that the world’s picture of a virtuous wife–a keeper at home–is a lie, not based at all on biblical truth. The feminist agenda went full force to create an undesirable image of the keeper at home…she is foggy-brained, mealy-mouthed, wears frumpy clothes all day, stays home because she can’t really do anything else, and is addicted to soap operas so she can pass the miserable day away.

That is not the picture of the Proverbs 31 wife…and it’s not our picture. A virtuous wife is not a passive vocation–one a woman falls into or gets stuck with. Now sadly, there are such women who don’t understand God’s desire for them, and they have been victimized by their own stereotypes.

The virtuous wife is a role to be coveted, planned for, hoped for, dreamed about, and embraced with all the vigor of any other vocation. And it is a BUSY role!

The husband of a virtuous wife knows his wife has many gifts, talents and abilities, and because of her position at home, she can use them to benefit her family, her church, her neighbors, her community, and her world. She is able to focus on the gifts the Lord has given her, and tune those gifts to meet the many opportunities that lie around her.

She is well-rounded, always learning, always creating. Her husband delights in her willingness to share those gifts first with the people she loves the most.

Understand that a virtuous wife can wear many hats; it is not just an unfortunate plight for those who don’t like to cook and clean…any woman, with any gifts, can and was created to use those gifts within the domain of her home.

And the virtuous wife is in charge! Contrary to the “lorded over” stereotype, a virtuous wife doesn’t have a husband who needs to micromanage. Her home is her realm and he “safely trusts her”. She orders her home, depending on his guidance and counsel when needed, but she is the “keeper”.

What are your gifts? How can you use them to minister, serve and benefit those around you?

This passage speaks directly to the business side of the virtuous wife. She may be involved in making and selling for profit, investments and home business. Notice, though, that it is all done within the domain of her home and family life; she does not neglect home all day and report to another man for work. And yet, because she manages her time wisely, stays healthy and fit, and keeps her hands busy, she is able to get quite a lot done!

(This doesn’t imply that a virtuous wife MUST operate a home business, just that it is within her domain to do so!)

Don’t be fooled by the world’s definition of a submissive wife; she is obedient, she is reverent, she is deferring; but she is also strong, competent and industrious.

Yesterday, my quiet 6-year old girl had been out picking wild flowers. She was really absorbed in the project of making them look just right in all the vases, and strategically placing them around the house. She studied her design for a while, and then looked at me and said, “when I grow up, I want to be a decorator”.

My face lit up and I just took off…

“Oh honey, you can! And a lot of other things too! Isn’t God wonderful to give us the desire to create beauty, and make things, and decorate, and then allow us to use all our gifts and talents from home? We could never find the time to do all we wanted to do if we weren’t at home!”

On and on I went…painting the keeper at home for what it is–something glorious! May we never be guilty of shrinking away from encouraging our daughters to joyfully look forward to being the managers of their homes!

Now you know as well as I do, all our days are not as glorious; I hardly slept last night because my nursing infant is cutting teeth. I’m exhausted, and I’ll have to fight being grumpy today. There will be lots of days where it is a struggle to “embrace my glorious role as keeper”…

But again, if we approach life from a “principally oriented” position, that is, knowing the bad days will come, but the truth remains that a keeper at home is my glorious, God-ordained position, that truth will keep me anchored throughout the ups and downs of life.