Hospitality and Homelife: A Forgotten Conduit for Ministry

By Contributing Writer, Bambi Moore

He hadn’t been out of prison long. He needed the work and my husband needed the help. The two of them began a two-hour commute each day on a small construction job that would take two weeks to complete.

His heart was cold and hard. He’d lived a hard life and had not experienced much of the common grace of God. When the conversations turned to eternal matters, the calloused man made no pretense: he was uninterested.

But over the coming weeks something happened. The house they were remodeling was a Christian home.

As the two men hammered away each day, he watched the man of the house leave each morning and return from his labors in the evenings, to a wife who had kept the home, as well as children who greeted him warmly. And each day this ex-prisoner was invited to the table to eat.

He listened as the family gave thanks to God for His provision. The woman served him delicious meals alongside her own family, and he observed the family’s loving relationships, as well as cheerful children who helped with the kitchen chores amid joy and laughter.

The family treated him as an important person. In fact, he noticed, they treated him better than they treated themselves. They asked him questions about his life and took a genuine interest in him. He had never been treated with such sincere kindness and respect.

Two weeks later the job was complete, and he was a different man. Softer.  And very intrigued by what he had witnessed over the last weeks.  He asked lots of questions, and he was now much more willing to talk about the state of his soul. Why?

This family never preached the gospel to the man. No one walked him down the “Roman Road”.  Instead they exemplified the gospel to him in a living way.  Their example of an honoring marriage was a demonstration of Christ and the Church.  The loving children  joyfully serving one another spoke of the transforming power of God.  Yes, the gospel was clearly communicated to this man.

 

Hospitality Defined

Webster’s 1812 defines hospitality as:
The act or practice of receiving and entertaining strangers or guests without reward, or with kind and generous liberality.

The home is the most natural setting for reaching the lost, but most of us are not utilizing this tool to reach our neighbors and community. Many of us have never even met our neighbors! The era of every house having a front porch as an open meeting place for drop-by visitors, has given way to mansions with no porches.

Homes stand empty all day as those inside live fast-paced lives, investing more time into superficial, online relationships than with people the Lord has placed in their circle of influence. We daughters of the King need a greater vision for what our home-keeping and hospitality can do in reaching the lost, ministering to the unloved, and strengthening the Body of Christ.

 

A Christian’s Responsibility to Practice Hospitality

Although it is often overlooked, hospitality is commanded in the Bible:

“Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality” Romans 12:13

“ Show hospitality to one another without grumbling” 1 Peter 4:9

“ Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares” Hebrews 13: 2, 3

1 Timothy also speaks about the women who were eligible to be put on the widow’s list, receiving help and provision from the Church:

Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband, and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work. 1 Timothy 5: 9, 10

And finally, for those of us whose husbands are elders or pastors, hospitality is one of the qualifications for this role:

Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach. 1 Timothy 3:2

(For more on the role of an elder’s wife in the ministry of hospitality, read The Ministry of Hospitality by my dear friend and fellow elder’s wife,  Tonya Chapa.)

 

Origins of Hospitality

From the beginning, Christianity has been a missionary movement. We often forget that the Christianity that conquered the Roman Empire was a grass-roots movement begun in homes. The first Gentile converts were converted in the home of Cornelius, and we see numerous examples throughout the scriptures, of hospitality as a tool for evangelism.

Of course Jesus is the prime example of reaching others through the ministry of hospitality. Along with fellowshiping in homes of dear friends like Mary, Martha and Lazarus, we also see him gladly accepting the invitations of public sinners and tax collectors (Mark 2:16; Luke 15:1,2; 19:1-10).

 

Expand the Circle

Some of us are eager to invite people into our homes that we enjoy being with, such as relatives and friends. But Christ commands us to expand that circle of hospitality to include others: the ones who are  poor in body or spirit.

Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.” Luke 14:12-14

There is nothing wrong with dining with friends and relatives; indeed it’s needed to strengthen relationships and edify one another in the Lord. But the Lord has commanded us to welcome the unwelcomed into our homes. This is how the hospitality of a Christian is different from the world’s: it reaches out to unwanted, needy people who cannot reciprocate. Furthermore, our homes have the potential to display the Savior’s love, and the Lord can use our homes to win people to Christ.

Years of training are not required to reach out and  love the unlovely.  And as women who are following the Lord’s call to be keepers at home, we must view our homes as a headquarters for evangelism: inviting people in, as well as equipping and strengthening those who are going out on the front lines.

 

Hospitality that Builds Muscles in the Body of Christ

One of the missing virtues in churches today is the act of hospitality. We share “church love” that begins at 11 AM  and ends in the parking lot an hour later. A superficial sort of churchy-love that never ventures beyond the auditorium. Unless we open the doors of our homes to one another, our churches will never be close-knit families.

If I want to cultivate more love for my brothers and sisters I have to be willing to give my most prized possessions to them: my time, finances and privacy. These are the very hardest gifts to give and the ones that prove our love for the brethren and prove our desire for intimate relationship. There have been times that I felt like I “knew” a person, until I had them in my home.  I realized I didn’t know them at all!

I love my church. I love my brothers and sisters there. We aren’t related by blood, but by something even stronger. We share the same Heavenly Father, we share the same baptism, we share the same indwelling of the Holy Spirit and we share the same name: Christian. We have an unbreakable family bond that is supernatural, and it’s an exciting realization, that the Lord can use my humble home to make that bond even stronger.

 

The Hindrance of Pride

Many times we don’t have people into our homes for fellowship, or we neglect reaching out to the lost because we are afraid our entertainment for them won’t be sufficient. We fear our homes aren’t decorated beautifully enough, the dining room is too small and the menu isn’t impressive.

We are hindered by pride.  There is nothing wrong with playing games or having a special meal, but these things shouldn’t be where our focus lies.

It seems too simple doesn’t it?  Another pride issue.  We think fancy, complicated methods of outreach and service must be more effective than simply inviting others into our homes. So if we’re going to spend time ministering to others why not do ”something big” instead?!

But the truth is, the Lord wants us to obey his commands and do things His way.  The simple, humble way.  Could it really be true that we can minister to someone with a meal and open  door, as effectively as those in high-profile ministries?  Yes, it can.  (This is not to say we can’t minister in other ways outside the home, but we shouldn’t neglect hospitality in favor of it.)

The practice of true Christian hospitality is humble, sacrificial service to others that isn’t going to receive many “Atta Boy”s. It’s never convenient, it’s always costly. It is time-consuming. It may place stress on the family and yes, sometimes guests take advantage of the kindness of their hosts or let their children tear up  stuff. That’s why hospitality is a down to earth test of our love for God.

It’s humbling. And it costs.

Practical Suggestions and Ideas When Serving Guests in Your Home

1. Meals do not have to be elaborate.  Five course dinners are nice but they aren’t necessary and shouldn’t hinder us if we’re not financially able to serve elaborate meals.  In fact, I have been known to throw something together pell-mell rather than lose the opportunity to fellowship.  Once, some dear brothers and sisters were coming over spur-of-the-moment, and we dined on Sloppy Joes, some mostly emptied bags of potato chips and for dessert, Reese’s Peanut Butter cups!  It made a memory that we still laugh about with these  friends.
2. If serving dinner is intimidating, we can invite others for breakfast or lunch instead. A gentleman who is a widower, comes to our home monthly for a pre-dawn breakfast of coffee and doughnuts.  We are blessed to enjoy his company with sleepy little children still in pajamas and mama with no make-up on.  We wouldn’t trade our Saturday mornings encouraging and praying with him, for anything.
3. Other suggestions for keeping it simple (because in my season of life, “simple” is all I’m capable of) are outdoor grilling, wiener roasts, soups, Frito Pies, and my favorite meal-for-a-crowd,  Build Your Own Taco Salads.  Just brown several pounds of ground meat, add taco seasoning and chop lots of veggies for guests to make a custom-designed salad, served buffet style. Or this make-ahead Chicken Broccoli casserole is another personal favorite of mine.
4. Sometimes unbelievers who we have only known a short while, will be taken aback by a dinner invitation.  We have been declined a few times simply because eating in someone’s home is such a personal thing that it scares some people.  They think there is an ulterior motive.  Just be persistent.
5. Try to never refuse anyone who would like to be in your home.  Strive to become known as a person who always has an open door.
6. The homes that I have felt most comfortable in were homes where the hostess was relaxed and didn’t fret about the dishes in her sink, but would rather visit instead.  (For me, being relaxed has come with practice and repeatedly having guests.  When I first started making meals for others I was totally stressed out about it.)

 

In Conclusion

God has commanded us to practice hospitality. Oh that we would obey Him and welcome others into our homes and allow them to see the Lord Jesus shine in our lives! We need not fret about the size of our homes or our cooking skills. There are so many people who just need love. A loving touch,  truth-heavy words during conversation, a simple meal and an example of Christ-focused service could go farther than a thousand sermons.

Have your home ready in season and out of season, to be available to be used by God to lead others to Him! May the Lord use our humble obedience to His commands to practice hospitality, and may He give us a bigger picture of the effect our home-lives can have on others.  May we show a sweaty love that works hard to potentially gain a hearing for the gospel and build up the Body of Christ.

Jesus’ Love: “so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all“