Training Children in Self-control

By Kim Doebler

Self-control has become a trait that most parents think is too much to ask. “Boys will be boys” and “girls are just silly like that” have become facts to many.

What does the Bible say?

Titus 2: 11-12 says, “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.”

God’s grace teaches us to live self-controlled! That seems like something to work towards, not to overlook.

From an early age children can be taught self-control:

Remember these little ones are s-m-a-r-t.
Start by thinking ahead and not allowing habits to get rooted that you will want to uproot later.
Not all training has to be intense and painful, make up ways that are fun to practice self-control.
One of our favorite self-control practice tools was to sit still for short periods of time while someone else tried to get the others to move or giggle. Sometimes Mom would crinkle candy wrappers behind everyone’s back, while other times one of the children would dance all silly to try and break their sibling’s self-control stance.
We have found that a clear definition of the character traits we want to instill helps both parents and child to know what is expected. Our definition for self-control is:

controlling my thoughts and actions so they don’t control me.

Isn’t that helpful?

If thoughts (which often surface in emotion) or actions are not as they should be, self-control needs to be practiced. After they have practiced and know what it feels like to control their thoughts and actions, then the skill of self-control will be more easily retrieved.