Thinking About College From a New Perspective
Ten years ago our hopes for our children included a college education. That seemed like a no-brainer. Who wouldn’t want their child to have the best possible chance at success in life? And of course that necessitates a college degree. (We believed this even though we personally knew many people without degrees who were successful entrepreneurs…and we also knew many people with college degrees who struggled to hold down jobs year after year.)
In my book, Visionary Womanhood Gatherings, I write a little bit about our journey in breaking free from some of the cultural “no brainers” that keep us from thinking creatively about different aspects of life. In our culture, there is really only one respectable path to success. College. Millions of high school students are asked the same old question every year. “So, where do you plan to go to college when you graduate?”
Let me just say from the get-go that, as a former educator and a home educating mom for 15 years, I place a high premium on education. I am extremely PRO-education. In fact, I would argue that it is precisely because of my high regard for education that I am open to innovative ideas and creative choices.
I am among a growing number of people who strongly believe that, in general, the education offered in our universities and colleges is narrow in vision, lacking in quality, and overpriced…to put it mildly. As an entrepreneur and owner of a small business, I believe in looking at inventive alternatives to things that “aren’t working”. I like to find solutions that will give excellent results…not just dish out the same old sub-par, status-quo.
And that’s why we decided to be open minded when it came to considering educational options other than the traditional college route for our children. That’s why our 17 year old son will be graduating next Spring…with a college degree…his own business up and running…and zero debt.
But it starts with a brand new mind-set.
1. Just because every other Wemmick is doing something…doesn’t mean you should.
Think for yourself. Following crowds looks good and feels right. And often leads to cliffs and dead ends. Think sheep here.
2. Just because you followed a certain path…or one of your children follows a certain path…doesn’t mean all your other children will follow the same path.
God made each one unique and has a extraordinary plan and purpose for their life. That may mean college. Or it may not. Be OK with that. People who close their minds to other options are the ones in a cultural trap. They are the ones with no options. You don’t need to stay stuck there.
3. Don’t get bent out of shape when you hear new ideas that deviate from the cultural norm.
Stay cool. God may want to teach you something. You can’t learn if you’re taking up the defense and getting emotional.
If a young woman decides she would like to get her education while staying in her home and developing a home business so she goes into a future marriage a financial asset rather than an economic drain, why should the rest of us condemn or criticize her for that? Why do we automatically assume the default posture of, “That’s just weird.”
Our oldest daughter has talked about becoming an artist. She is also interested in breeding specialized birds. One day she wants to rule the world by rocking a few cradles. We refuse to lock her into a culturally expected mold and make her believe that she cannot fulfill her dreams until after she has done the “normal” thing of spending $100,000 on a silly four year degree that she isn’t interested in having in the first place. She’d like to HAVE $100,000 to hand her future husband when she’s 22. Or whenever.
Does that sound like someone who lacks ambition? It takes more grits and guts to see beyond the status quo and do something different from “everyone else”. Our family has decided to encourage that kind of “freedom thinking”. And so far, our older children are really happy that we do! : )
4. Just because some people take things to an extreme, twist them into ugly, negative applications that actually ruin their children’s lives and leave pain in their wake…doesn’t mean the original idea was fundamentally flawed.
It just means that Wemmicks are fundamentally flawed.
None of us will “get it all right.” So let’s be humble and encourage one another instead of lumping everyone into neat categories and making assumptions about them based on our own prejudice. We may be the ones falling on our faces next. Do we want others to show us grace? Then let’s be grace-givers.
5. Be saturated with the Word of God…and be a prayer warrior.
This should really be #1. If you read a lot of books…or read a lot of blogs…but you avoid studying God’s Word, you will not grow in wisdom or discernment and will be prone to pendulum swings and imbalance. (We will also be susceptible to passing fads and the latest gossip.) This is not a healthy place to be. If you talk a lot online, getting your personal thoughts and opinions out there, but you don’t spend significant time talking to your Savior and listening at His feet…you will be empty and unable to satisfy or fill anyone else. We will only bear fruit in proportion to our investment in abiding in Christ.
I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.
John 15:5
6. If you do decide to get out of the culture box, be prepared for criticism.
People floating downstream have an aversion to those who attempt to swim upstream. It’s the way of Wemmicks, and it’s never going to change. The good news is…you really aren’t the only one. Find others who are on that journey too…become friends and support one another. That’s one of the concepts behind the Visionary Womanhood Gatherings that I promote in my ebook.
I’m not saying that EVERYONE should avoid college. Not by a long shot. I’m saying…don’t just ASSUME that college is the right thing for everyone. That limits you and your children to cultural dictates, and culture tends to cut everyone into perfect cookie shapes and stick them on conveyor belts. Instead, why not bring each child before the Lord and ask Him for His wisdom and direction as they reach those critical years of making decisions that will affect the course of their lives on earth…and the course of eternity?
Your family is unique. Your children are incredibly special. Be open to unique and special futures for them that will bring glory to Jesus Christ and fulfill His perfect plans for their lives!
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord.
James 1:5-7
Tags: college, education, parenting, visionary womanhood gatherings
wow! natalie. what a great post—very well said. would you please share what you did for/with your son? about his schooling & business? i am very interested.
You know…that’s how the post started out. I was going to share what Sam did…but then it ended up morphing on me! : ) I’ll write up another post and share some of our tricks. : )
Hi, I am entering Linnie’s give away so thanks for offering the prize.
You’re so welcome! Thanks for entering! I hope you win! ; )
I am so thankful that I get to rub shoulders with you, Natalie! Your visionary mindset has definitely rubbed off on me, and now I am the odd one trying to explain why we do the things we do to others. Thanks for sharing what you learn and live!
Much Love,
Erica
Erica…I’m the one that’s thankful for you! If it weren’t for faithful friends like you…I would be one lonely Wemmick. We need each other…and I really like it that way. ; )
I agree with you – it does take courage to make choices that are “outside the box” in the eyes of mainstream society. I’ve been in groups where it was assumed that one must get a traditional 4-year degree and I’ve also been lectured by those who think that college is always a waste and/or sinful. I think your take on it that allows for God having different plans for different individuals makes much more sense and this is definitely the kind of advice I’d forward to my friends/family who are in the season of thinking over these types of decisions.
You’re absolutely right Amy. God isn’t in a box either…that’s why it is so exciting to follow HIM! : )
Thanks for this post Natalie – I have been thinking about this a lot. I never went to college, neither in fact did my husband, and he is now a very successful web developer. I must say we have gotten a lot of opposition from family about our choices as a family… but hey, the Lord is sovereign
Thank you for sharing your experience. I know a LOT of successful young people without college degrees. I hope that stigma changes over time, because it is really a false notion that a degree inevitably leads to a full and purposeful life. They can come in handy in many cases…but are not necessary….as you well know. : )
Natalie,
I loved this post! I have one child a son who is 7. Our thought was that as he gets older, we would like him to learn a trade in case college is something he just isn’t into. I also find that college curricula can be limited and constraining. But you have given me even more reason to think outside the box (love the Wemmick comparison, one of our favorite series of books).
I also wanted to tell you how much I am enjoying your book. I don’t have a daughter, but I hope that my son will grow up to marry a visionary woman and I am working to become more of one for my little family. Thank you also for your posts/recommendations on prayer. I purchased the book by Andrew Case and I love it. You are an inspiration and I look forward to reading more on this site as I have time. Thank you so much Natalie.
I’m so encouraged to hear this Jennifer. I especially am thrilled that you are using Andrew Case’s book to pray. It’s transforming…on so many levels. I hope it fills you with confidence that God is directing the steps of your son and will do amazing things with his life…because you are bringing him to the throne of grace regularly. And by the way…Abraham had one son of promise…and from that one son came a mighty nation. So be encouraged! : )
Dear Natalie, i love what you have written! We thought we’d be homeschooling our daughter-she’s been at home for 6 years and we’ve followed a very relaxed homeschool style. But recently we felt the Lord has led us to put her into school. (We start at 6 here in South Africa) Now I actually feel like I’m swimming upstream as the majority of our friends are home schoolers and we are the ones “going against the norm”. In the end it really does come down to seeking the Lord’s will for each of their lives and there is such freedom in that! It actually makes the journey more exciting following the Lord’s plans
Now I’m wondering what plan he has for my son 
in the meantime we’ll enjoy our time together at home!
Thanks for this post it was an encouragement to me!
Thank you for sharing your experience Nikki. As you wait on the Lord, He will be faithful to direct and lead you and your husband in what will ultimately shape and fit your children for their purpose in life. Stay in His Word and pray for your children…and rest in His will. He’s only going to give YOU wisdom for YOUR children…one day at a time. : )
I teach adjunct at a Christian University, and my husband teaches full-time. I desperately wish that my students really understood this. I am completely dismayed by the number of students that I have who come to college because it’s what they’re “supposed” to do, when really it’s because they don’t know what else to do. They end up failing out of classes because they aren’t prepared for the reality of college, and they are shocked that we ask them to question ideas that they’ve never thought to question before. Every semester I have 1-3 students in every class that will come to me 2/3 of the way through the semester and they are baffled about why their experience isn’t what they thought it would be. I have started asking them what it is that they really want to be doing, because I can tell that college isn’t the thing- but so often they don’t even understand the question.
Wow. Thank you for adding that insight/perspective to the discussion. It’s a huge investment of time and money when one doesn’t even understand the purpose for which they are pursuing it.