Sad News

It is with deep disappointment, but not much surprise, that I need to inform you of our baby’s early demise in the womb. I have some “miscarriage thoughts” I’d like to share with my readers since this is my 5^th loss over a 17 year period. Miscarriages are often a part of the package when a woman allows God to control the opening and closing of the womb. As I shared with one sister recently, when we open ourselves up to God’s choosing for us, we make ourselves vulnerable to deep sorrows as well as deep joys. Sometimes, with my pregnancies, I end up with a beautiful child in my arms at the end of 9 long months. Sometimes I end up with more of Christ. Either way…I get something very precious.

We live in a culture that has ingrained in us the somewhat short-sighted idea that we should keep our pregnancies a “secret” until they are well –established with a growing, thriving baby. This idea is supposed to somehow eliminate some of our sorrow if we lose it early…or perhaps our culture teaches this because babies are not “real” until they are “real” to us humans. Being a product of our culture, I myself struggle a bit inside with announcing our pregnancies as soon as we find out…not because I do not want to…but because it is not “socially acceptable” and therefore, I feel a little silly when I think of how others perceive it.

Yet I do it anyway because God has created a REAL PERSON with ETERNAL DESTINY!! And this is AMAZING and MIRACULOUS and should be celebrated!!! Even if it is only for a few days…or a few weeks…or a few months…or a few years. Earthly time is relative to God. And as worshipers of the Creator God, it should be relative to us as well. So I DID celebrate my child with great relish this past week…and I DO celebrate his/her life as he/she begins it in eternity. I look forward to enjoying my son/daughter one day! Not one life is “wasted” or “lost”! I am grateful to all of you who celebrated with me!

I have many things to be thankful for…and in between waves of “blueness” in my heart, I am focusing on those things:

First of all, I’m grateful this loss was early! I’ve had losses at different points in the pregnancy, including our first baby, Elizabeth, born at 21 weeks, 17 years ago. I can testify from experience that the longer the pregnancy goes, the more difficult the loss.

Secondly, I’m grateful for purpose in life…the high calling of motherhood…and that He has given us 7 children. My appreciation for them increases each time I lose a baby as I realize anew just what a fragile thing life really is…and what a miracle and a blessing it is to be given a baby to raise.

Thirdly, this is an opportunity to model something important to my 9 year old daughter…that life is to be desired…and then surrendered to God as He chooses…not as we choose. If I were to grow bitter and frustrated with multiple losses, it would communicate to her that God is not good. That He can not be trusted. That He does not know what He is doing. Or worse, that He is not in control. My daughter may have to face far deeper trials in her lifetime. How will she be prepared in her faith and trust in God if she sees her mother lose heart under pressures?

And finally and most importantly of all…this is an excellent opportunity to proclaim the worth of Jesus Christ. In our family worship time last night we read that the word, “worship” comes from the word, “worth”.

“When we worship something, we declare that it has great worth. Worship is more than just praising God now and then when we pray. It is more than just singing hymns and praise songs when we come to church. To worship God is to declare to the world around us how much He is worth…When everyone who knows us can see that the most important thing in the world to us is knowing God, we are worshiping Him. We are saying to the whole world, “Look how much God is worth! I would give up everything else so I could have Him.” Phil. 3:7-8 Training Hearts, Teaching Minds by Starr Meade

So my hope and prayer is that through this brief pregnancy and loss, that my life will worship Jesus Christ by pointing to His great worth. He is worthy of our trust in the “Oh Happy Day!” times as well as in the “Sad News” times.

May He be glorified in both.

Related posts:

No related posts.