March 3, 2015
In some Christian circles people are taught, “When you get angry, it’s because you thought you had rights, and you thought those rights were violated, but that just shows your pride and self-centeredness. Everything you have belongs to God, so if you’re unhappy, you’re claiming a right you should have given up, and you’re in sin. You’re not entitled to anything, but God will give you everything you need. So that should make you happy, and if you’re not, you’re in sin.” (This is paraphrased from an explanation of the concept that I found in a forum. My impression was that the one explaining it was a proponent of the teaching.)
So imagine you’re a vulnerable person (for example, a child, or a naïve young woman) in an outwardly Christian home or institution that is covertly extremely abusive. (These are far more common than you might think.) You’re taught that you have no rights.
Then you’re sexually violated. Again and again. Besides whatever threats and manipulation and lies the evil offender might snarl or whisper in the dark or write on the wall with your blood, in your ears is ringing the dictum, “You have no rights. Christians have no rights.”
The fallacious nature of this argument and the odious results are—or should be—painfully, painfully obvious. But someone asked me to please address this issue from a Biblical perspective, because she grew up thinking that the Bible taught that she hadno rights. (“We had no right to expect safety. We had no right to defend or protect ourselves. We had no right to be angry. We had no right to feel sadness.”)
Read the rest of this article HERE.
this is an example of a woman who had to give up her ‘rights’…. http://www.kwwl.com/story/29313538/2015/06/13/shooting-victim-was-montezuma-grad-worked-at-childrens-museum
the story does not imply she was a ‘christian’ but it does imply that men are by nature wicked murderers except the repent and follow xhrist
we can have access to a bivle to ?? insult it, belittle others who read it, forbid it, …..or just follow it and lay down our lives for others. giving up ‘rights’ is not easy and NO it never means allowing or encouraging a man to continue in his sin…..
Thank you, again for helping us peel back our layers to live in the Truth.
Yesterday I was reading a book called “Seeking and Pursing Peace” published by Musalaha (Palestinian/Jewish reconciliation ministry). The opening essay is an exposition of some of the difficult (and misused) passages in the Sermon on the Mount: “…turn the other cheek”, “…give him your cloak also”, and “…go with him two”. I thought of you and was praying for you.
Daniel Buttry writes: “[Christ] is calling on the powerless person to take an initiative that asserts one’s own humanity and transforms the nature of the relationship….A moral mirror can be help up which exposes the evil….and refuses to accept the definitions under which the oppressor operates.” Thus forcing the oppressor to make a moral choice, and giving an option to move toward justice and reconciliation. He explains that the passages should not be applied woodenly, but should be creatively applied in whatever unjust situation we may find ourselves in. Thus, Rosa Parks could sit unmoved in the front of the bus, perfectly in harmony with “give him your left cheek also”.
Applied to marriage, I think, this is the heart of 1 Peter 3:1-6, especially the last few words of verse 6.
So it is not insubordinate to confront a husband with his sin, or with your own value as a human for whom Christ died, but it cannot be done with a heart of pride or self-righteousness, rather with the humility, gentleness, dignity and strength that comes from being a redeemed and adopted daughter of The King.
BJUGrace gets it exactly right.
Yes. Well, that’s the trick, isn’t it? I wish I could always have that humility, gentleness, dignity and strength. But sometimes I’m not humble, gentle, strong, or dignified in my protests. It’s a goal I strive for – and I lean into the grace of God for the times I fail. It is inspiring to have examples like Rosa Parks. We need to see more of that modeled for us, and we need to aspire to model that for our children. I’m coming off a horrible week end dealing with non-stop drama and chaos in our family, so feeling exhausted and discouraged.
I’m a survivor of childhood sexual assault that was covered up by my church and a parent. I was discussing my struggle to understand what forgiveness is supposed to look like (how do I know I’ve forgiven the parent, etc.) with a friend. She’s a relatively new friend, but she seemed to understand. Several weeks after the discussion, she sent me an email that basically said that I had no right to be angry about anything I had experienced, because only God has a right to be angry, and that I was choosing a victim mentality. I was stunned. The email came out of nowhere.
Her theology is so wrong (and she’s a pastor’s wife, but he thinks the same), and I’m pretty sure she was projecting her own issues onto me. I gave a brief, generic reply to the email, and made the decision not to discuss these issues with her again.
I’m very happy to have found your site. It helps.
Her theology is false and dangerous. I’m so sorry. Sometimes when we get up the courage to speak out, we are only harmed more. It is difficult to know who to trust. Anger is not a sin, in and of itself. In fact, if a person has the Holy Spirit of God living in them, they will get angry at rape, murder, abuse, etc. Christians love the things God loves and hate the things He hates. This shows we belong to Him. Patrick Doyle has a couple of videos about anger:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnpoMlwJFZ8
I’m glad you are finding support online. ((Hugs))
Thank you for your kind words, and the video link. And thank you for what you do here.