By Contributing Writer, Marci Ferrell
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
What is Kindness?
According to FreeDictionary online, “kind” is defined as: generous, a warm-hearted nature, charitable and considerate. Some synonyms of kindness are: generous, considerate, goodness, merciful and thoughtful. As we meditate on the above verses and look at the definition of kindness, does this describe our daily relationship with our husband?
The Greek word for kind in 1 Corinthians 13:4 is “chrestos” which means -
fit, fit for use, useful virtuous, good manageable mild, pleasant (as opp. to harsh, hard sharp, bitter) of things: more pleasant, of people, kind, benevolent.
BibleStudyTools.com
Kindness is an action that desires the happiness of others. As believers we show kindness because God showed undeserved kindness to us through the gift of His Son Jesus Christ.
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32
Kindness to our Husbands
When you were first dating your husband kindness happened naturally. Your desire was to please him. After we’re married and daily life happens, we tend to settle in and and get slack in how we treat one another. Do you take the time to show your husband how much you love and appreciate him? Does he know that he is blessing from God to you?
Are you more aware of what he does wrong than what he does right? How many times do we magnify our husbands weaknesses and forget to take the log out of our own eye? Proverbs 14:1 tells us that a wise woman builds up her home but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands. When we respond unkindly to our husbands we are tearing our homes down. There are no excuses for our unkind responses – we need to call them what they are: sin.
Our gracious God is the giver of kindness. The only way we will be able to persevere and show kindness in our marriages is through prayer as well as lining our lives up with God’s Word. We can not manufacture kindness in our own strength. Kindness is an act of love expressed to our husbands through our words, deeds, and nonverbal expressions (that last one can be forgotten sometimes).
Jesus Christ is the foundation of our homes. Our marriages are to model the beautiful, tender relationship of Christ and the church on this earth to a lost world.
“Put On” Kindness
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness,humility, meekness, and patience,
Colossians 3:12
God’s Word tells us to “put on” kindness. Lets look at some ways we can extend kindness to our husbands on a daily basis. The list is not exhaustive, and because of the differences in our relationships, they may look different from one home to the next. The hope is to get you thinking and praying about ways to “put on” kindness in your own marriage. {Please share your thoughts, including the ways you show kindness in your marriage, in the comments section so we can be an encouragement to one another!}
-We were created to be his helper. Does your relationship with him take priority over your relationship with your children? Being kind to our husbands happens much easier when we are in the proper role God has called us to.
-Speak kindly about your husband to others.
-Pray over your husband before he leaves for work.
-Get enough rest and take care of yourself and your physical appearance.
-Keep the romance alive.
-Compliment him often. Do you thank him for working hard and providing for your family?
-Pay attention to his favorites – meals, outfits on you, or places to go on a date.
-Be cheerful, and I am sure he loves a smile on your face.
-Pray before you respond, and look at things through an eternal perspective. Is it that difficult to pick his socks up off the floor? Clean up the bathroom after he uses it? We are called as believers to serve with a joyful heart. This was a sweet article and good reminder of the gift of our husbands from a young widow. The Little Things I Miss About Being Married.
-There is much we need to learn to overlook in love. I am not talking about sins that truly need addressing, but remember, “love covers a multitude of sins”.
-When problems arise, work them out together in a Christ honoring way. You are responsible for YOUR actions and behavior–not for your husbands. Respond correctly, forgive when needed, and do not harbor bitterness or anger in your heart. Look to the example of Christ, who forgave us when we were undeserving sinners.
-We know we have truly forgiven when we no longer hold it against them. May we, through the strength of the Holy Spirit, respond in all situations with loving kindness to our husbands.
-Words are powerful and our tongues are a dangerous weapon. By the grace of God you can tame your tongue and speak words that are kind, used for building up, encouraging, gentle, and pure.
-Thankful people are a true joy to be around. Offer thanks to your husband and let him know how much you appreciate him. Revive Our Hearts has a 30 Day Challenge to Encourage your Husband that every wife should go through yearly.
Today is a New Day
God’s mercies are new every morning. If you haven’t been showing kindness to your husband, repent, seek the grace of God, and He will give you a fresh start right now. Seek the Lord in prayer on ways you have not been showing kindness in your marriage and start making changes today. May we begin today by treating our husbands with kindness in our words and actions.
Kindness is a readiness to do good, to help, to relieve burdens, to be useful, to serve, to be tender, and to be sympathetic to others. It has been said, “Kindness is love in work clothes.”
Alexander Strauch
About Marci Ferrell
Thank you for this, Marci. This morning I was grumbling because the breakfast dish went next to the sink, the socks were found stuffed in the couch, the shirt was thrown next to the hamper, etc. So while I was loading laundry I rebuked Satan for being in my head, coming up with all of the little things that irritate me. And then I felt peace, came upstairs and checked my RSS feeds… “Pray before you respond, and look at things through an eternal perspective. Is it that difficult to pick his socks up off the floor?” So well-timed. While I think “dad’ should do his part to set a good example for the kiddo, a 1% sock here or there doesn’t detract from the 99% good he does.
It’s so easy to focus on our husband’s weaknesses rather than “putting on kindness”. It takes effort to switch that focus and do the right thing.
One thing that has saved our marriage over and over again is prayer. And I’m not talking about ‘me’ prayers, but ‘God’ prayers. The ones that have us on our knees and humble before our Father, beseeching Him to forgive us and restore our marriage. God desires our pure motives, and when we are totally needful our wrong motives dissipate.
Blessings as we seek to strengthen our marriages!
What an excellent reminder to be kind to our husbands!
Focusing on that wonderful principle in the Word of God of doing to others as we would want them to do to us is always convicting to me.
I desire to be as kind to my husband, and I would want him to be to me. It’s a simple, yet profound, truth that God reminds me of often, especially when I am tempted to be … ahem… less than kind…
May you be blessed as you abide in Him, and encourage others in such beautiful ways!