By Contributing Writer, Leah Smith
Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.
~Psalm 127:1
Last year was our first “official” year of homeschooling. I had a five year old, a three year old, a two year old, and a newborn. The word “overwhelmed” comes to mind, but seems a tad understated. Let me tell you, it was a rather interesting scenario–and mama lost her cool more than once. And to top it off, I did not physically bounce back from having the baby, and experienced challenges ranging from chronic fatigue and sleep disruption (not even from the newborn!) to depression.
Year one of homeschooling wasn’t feeling especially successful. There were constant interruptions from the moment we started our school sessions which made me feel like “why bother?” Sometimes we had to scrap school altogether. I was not feeling like a victorious homeschooling mother, let me tell you. There were days I felt like homeschooling wasn’t for me.
If you are starting out and have several short people running around, the feeling of inadequacy is perfectly normal. It will pass!
In the months before the last birth, I tried to mentally prepare myself for the coming year. I knew that I would need to lower my expectations of myself and the school situation. The five year old would do formal school, but I also had to occupy and give attention to the other three.
What resulted of that chaotic, roller-coaster year? At the end of the school year, the five year old could READ at a grade 1-2 level. He was able to count to one hundred and do basic addition and subtraction. He memorized the Nicene Creed and several Bible passages. He accomplished many more things, but I must say that I did not push him. He was willing and eager to learn, and the Lord made up for the many ways in which I lacked. I felt so proud of my son and thankful for God’s grace.
Here are a few tips based on things that worked and did not work for us during this season:
Lower your expectations
I wanted this beautiful schedule. I had a lovely color-coded sheet of paper on my fridge that had all our activities listed in half-hour blocks. That lasted for about half a day. If you are homeschooling little people, they don’t need much more than Bible, phonics and math. Coloring and play-dough count as art. Fit it into your daily routine, whenever it works.
Also, do not feel guilty if they don’t have a bunch of extra-curricular activities and lessons. There’s plenty of time for that, and it’s too easy to get overwhelmed as it is during this high-demand season.
Use a flow chart or routine
I quickly discovered that sticking to a schedule with time constraints totally stressed me out, but I found a solution. I realized we could still have some order and sanity, but with much less rigidity and stress. So we had a general routine; a flow-chart, so-to-speak. Breakfast, devotions, memory verses, table time (school for the oldest, and activities for the littles), nap time, free play time, movie time while mom makes dinner, etc. This way, we always know what comes next, but if we’re a half hour later for lunch, no big deal. The day carries on, and we continue with the flow of the day without my having to erase things and feel like I failed.
Plan activities for the toddlers
I am still getting organized in this regard. I took several tips from Kendra Fletcher at Preschoolers and Peace who is incredibly inspiring when it comes to organizing your homeschool with busy toddlers in mind. Brainstorm all the activities you can think of that might keep them occupied: blocks, play-dough, puzzles, books, tupperware, kitchen utensils, felts, etc. You can pile them all into a special “school box” and have them pick an activity, or pre-determine the activity for the child in your weekly routine.
My personal experience was that it was definitely trying at times (yes, even tears), but after we got into our groove, it wasn’t so bad, and we accomplished quite a bit that year. Now the kids ask me when we can do school. Yay!
Make your health a top priority
For those struggling with low energy–whether you just had a baby or struggle with postpartum depression–I want to stress how important it is that you do not neglect your health. Make sure you are seeing your doctor, midwife, or naturopathic doctor regularly. If you are not functioning well, your household and your homeschool will not function well.
We are the managers of the home, and unfortunately these managers don’t get sick days! For me, that means eating a very clean diet and exercising 5-6 days every week. That helps my mood, my confidence, and sleep. I’m taking high quality vitamins and a range of supplements to restore my adrenal system (which is burnt out from having babies back-to-back). I’m not out of the woods yet as far as the postpartum hormones go, but I’m no longer falling apart and am beginning to be “fun mom” from time to time.
Don’t lose your vision
Why are you homeschooling? Write it out. Laminate it. Frame it. Put your vision somewhere you see it everyday. Because the winds will blow and try to wear you down. You can guarantee that you will feel ill-equipped, incompetent, and impatient. You will absolutely have days where you feel like giving up and giving your kids to someone else to educate. You will need a reminder of the big picture on those days.
I know the times I felt like that were because I was overwhelmed by my feelings of the moment. My personal experience in that instant clouded my long-term vision of raising competent Kingdom-builders. The pain of personal growth felt like too much, while I forgot about the bigger picture. This is the most important tip I can give. We are presently working on our family mission statement. I will paint it somewhere and make it art… I want it to be in my face the day I say, “I give up.”
It is crucial that we mentally, physically and spiritually prepare for this high-demand season of life. Little people everywhere, all demanding mom’s attention at once. Homeschooling, husband, bills, church, in-laws, diapers, chaos. Somehow, God has a sweet design for us in the way of personal and spiritual growth.
Go with it. Planning and preparation seriously make it easier. Sometimes I resist organization because the task seems daunting, but it is the very thing I need to feel at peace in the world! And in the areas I fail, I am reminded that it is the Lord building this house. If Jesus isn’t central in our home and school, it is all for nothing.
About leah
Take heart, if you have the blessings of the Lord and your husband, then let them help you. *big smile* Save some “schooling” for when Dad is home. Understand that we all “homeschool” a bit different and that’s okay. Pray about your goals and have your beloved husband help you get those things taught, everything else will come in time.
I love rutines and scheduals and we have but two children ages seven and five, this may sound like a cake walk for you, but we all have our own challanges. *smile* We must remember to take them to the Father who knows what is best for each moment of each day. Training must happen and loving needs to be in all…this is not easy, but we will be blessed for giving all to Him in each moment. I am certain of that. *simle* I have seen it when I am faithful and all to often when I get into my own way and forget, Father still blesses me far beyond what I deserve.
Have faith and remember that you are not alone in the journey of being a wife, mom, and teacher in your home. Sincerely, Mommy of two growing blessings & so much more!
Leah, I could have written this. Literally. Except that I had a 5, 3, 1, and newborn (not a 2 y/o and newborn). And the feelings of “why bother,” and the PPD…yes, and even the wow factor at the results at the end of the year. God definitely filled in all my gaps and then some!! Strangely, this year has been a harder start for school than last year was. We are in a classical conversations community so we had to begin earlier than I otherwise would have, and after unintentionally taking the whole summer off, it’s been a rough and rocky beginning trying to get the now 6 and 4 year olds back into a routine and figure out our new materials and curricula and whatnot.
After a m/c in late winter, I’m still dealing with the PPD. I would love to hear more about the vitamins and supplements you are taking. I have heard that sometimes “letter” vitamin supplements can be more beneficial than the multi’s. I am working on eating cleaner, for the whole family as well. And this morning I had this huge epiphany about working out, since I just haven’t made it a priority since my oldest was born. I feel like I simply cannot take that time for myself, but this morning I thought *lightbulb* “Aha, I can work out for my hubby though!!”
So perhaps I will be able to fit that in now.
Thanks for sharing your story; it’s always so encouraging to know we aren’t alone, isn’t it?
There are so many great points in this post, Leah! Although I have been homeschooling for years and have several older children, I still have a toddler at home, too. I am far more flexible now than I was when some of my older kids were in preschool, and it has been a lot less stressful to just take some of that pressure off. With the benefit of hindsight I can see now that the older kids have done great, and those interruptions here and there did not impact their education negatively….and their character and compassion was strengthened through them. They are so patient and kind toward their younger siblings and are flexible with the interruptions…so now I can see those interruptions as a blessing, as they teach things that could not be learned otherwise.
We put away our color coded schedule and started using a “flow chart”, too, and it has made everything so much more peaceful around here. Thanks for sharing!!