Homeschooling Toward Godly Character

By Contributing Writer, Kim Doebler

It was out of a desire to raise children with godly character that we initially considered homeschooling. During the first several years of our marriage we were busy observing other families. Whenever we noticed a family that modeled what we hoped for our family, we would introduce ourselves and try to learn more about what made them such a “nice” family.

One thing we noticed time after time, was that the families we admired… homeschooled. At this point, we had not made a decision regarding how to educate our children. Neither my husband nor I had been exposed to homeschooling growing up. Now we were seriously considering how important this decision might be.

As we read Proverbs, we became convinced it was our job to instruct our children.

 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Proverbs 1:8

We could instruct our children without homeschooling; yet it would require effort to stay on top of what they were experiencing apart from us, and we also considered the unlearning we would have to address.

We had a growing desire to become the greatest influence in our children’s lives. We wanted to shape them according to God’s Word. The verses in Deuteronomy 6: 6-7 synopsized our vision.

These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Because we felt we could best accomplish this by being with our children, we decided to home school.

Fast forward to the present, and we have graduated one child, with three more close behind. Although we have several years under our belt, each August finds me fretting about the upcoming year. Our direction is clearer than in the early years, yet insecurities still creep in. As the end of their formal education in our home comes near, I wonder if we have done enough. Most importantly, will they stand against the schemes of this world?

Since character is what drives us, it is also what haunts us. What haunts us brings us to our knees. While we do everything we can do to shape and influence our children, we must also realize our role. God has made us planters and waterers, but He is the One that makes our children grow.

 I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. I Cor. 3: 6

Trusting God to guide the education part of our home school is a step of faith too. In case you think you are alone in thinking others home school better than you do, I want to be the first to tell you that I have to fight that battle often. There is so much good “stuff” out there that none of us can do it all.

My comfort comes from believing the best education we can give our children is teaching them to know how to learn. If our children can ask good questions and know where to go to find the answers, we have served them well.  In our home we have not down played reading, writing and arithmetic; we just believe character will benefit our children even more.

Just recently a public schooled child asked one of my children, “Are you as smart as us?” My darling assured her we cover all the subjects they do. We know academics are important; we just measure our home school success by how well our children are getting along with each other, serving others, and respecting authority.

Raising children with a strong work ethic allows them to keep going when others give up.

It starts with little things like cleaning up the kitchen. First our children spent time working alongside us as we verbalize the importance of wiping counters and not having sharp knives hidden in soapy water. Then the task was turned over to the children. Mom or Dad stayed close by to prevent any child from only pretending to work or slipping away unnoticed. As they matured, we could count on our children doing a thorough job, even if friends were visiting and complaining or trying to pull them to do something else.

The verses we memorized to implant this godly character were:

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord not for men. Col. 3: 23
Slaves obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. Eph. 6: 5

This is how we instill a strong work ethic while we sit at home and when we walk along the road.

A child that tries without being easily distracted or defeated will become an adult with those same qualities.

“I can’t” has always been met with the instruction to say, “I’ll try” at our house. And when children get defeated when they do run up against something they fail at, we tell them, “If you don’t fail, you haven’t tried anything.”

School is learning, so a child, at some point, doesn’t know what is being taught. This alone has overwhelmed each of our students at one time or another. It was the concept of “I’ll try” that got us through.

One of the toughest training issues we ran into was with one child that loved to dream and was easily distracted.  We created a saying, “Shoo Bee” that was a quick reminder to get back to what you “should be” doing. The whole family worked together to help this child by saying, “Shoo Bee” whenever the sibling appeared to be distracted. With this pulling together, this child has learned to recognize when she is being pulled away and stop it sooner.

The verses we memorized to implant this godly character were:

But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. Luke 10:40a
With God we will gain the victory. Psalm 60:12a

This is how we instruct our children; we recognize their weakness and instruct them how to overcome.

We are trying to raise adults with good attitudes who will be punctual and dependable in the work place.

We may have gone overboard with the “showing up on time” training at our house. The fatherly example is that “on time” is half an hour early, so our children are extremely time conscious and do a minute by minute countdown whenever we have a time commitment. One perk is they have never been late for work.

Doing a task without complaining is a gift to everyone. An employer does not need to be challenged or only get cooperation when his employees agree with him. When I go into a restaurant or clothing store and hear the employees complaining, it makes me consider turning around and walking out. I can only imagine how the supervisor feels.

We start at a young age requiring our children to respond to a request joyfully. If they need to, we will ask them to restate their answer with a joyful tone. The verses we memorized to implant this godly character were:

A fool show his annoyance at once. Proverbs 12: 16a
Wisdom brightens a man’s face and changes its hard appearance. Ecclesiastes 8: 1b

This is how we instill character while schooling at home.

So, in conclusion, if you are still in the decision process regarding home schooling, consider not just the academic benefits, but also the impact homeschooling has on character training.  And if you are a seasoned homeschooler, don’t forget, amidst the piles of papers and textbooks, these verses in Proverbs and Deuteronomy and what that entails:

Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Proverbs 1:8
These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deuteronomy 6: 6-7

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