By Contributing Writer, Ann Dunagan
“Who gives this woman to be married to this man?”
When it’s finally time for this question to be answered, four simple little words spoken by the father-of-the-bride have monumental meaning:
“Her mother and I.”
For the parents, these words signify a time of completion and a marker of finality — it’s a definite seasonal change in our calling to “parent” a grown child; for the bride and groom, it’s beautiful new beginning.
Two weddings, two weeks . . . and too happy to explain!
This month, two of our grown children were married, just two weeks apart.
In the midst of all the busyness, my heart has been overflowing with gratitude to God as we have experienced the incredible fruit of biblical family discipleship.
We released our daring daughter into the hands of her chosen groom (who grew up as a missionary in Niger, West Africa) and dear friends released their sweet girl (raised in our own home church) into the hands of our son.
As a mother, I felt a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. So much love, spiritual training, education, prayers, and hopes have focused on this moment . . . and it truly is a blessing of grace and joy to see God’s promises come true.
Our daughter chose to wear a third-generation wedding dress, worn by me 27 years ago and by her grandmother 49 years ago. It felt significant. It was beautiful to see this three-generation focus on both sides of the family.
On the bride’s-side, the heritage of a third-generation dress (with generations of prayer and biblical foundations). On the groom’s-side, the heritage of three generations of missionary service (stepping out in service and radical rugged obedience in one of the toughest and poorest countries in the world). And that was just the first wedding; our son’s new family is just as wonderful in godly generational influence!
In our family, we love the Lord and His Word. Over the years, my husband and I have had to rely on God’s grace and help to raise our children to love God . . . and to love others . . . to submit and to follow God’s will for our lives and to surrender to His will. Little by little. Seed by seed.
We don’t just raise our kids in the church, we raise them in Christ.
Each family is unique and each husband and wife parenting style is different. For us, my husband trains our kids informally and I train and teach them formally. Together, we function as a team, training our children in the ways of the Lord.
A momma’s heart remembers many things:
Mother-daughter retreats, homeschooling conventions, and tea parties. Graduation ceremonies (in our backyard), going with my son to buy his first suit, and hearing him preach in Africa. Memorizing chapters of the Bible, learning the Ten Commandments, and the Lord’s Prayer. . . and teaching our kids to daily read God’s Word. Sitting in church together, worshipping side-by-side . . . and watching grown kids begin to step out in spiritual leadership.
And I can’t tell you how fabulous it feels to see a son and a daughter, as grown young adults, each choosing a godly spouse.
Our plants have grown and now they are on their own. Our daughter is now married to a wonderful man. Our son is married to a wonderful woman.
And I’m a happy momma.
A few days ago, the two newlywed couples packed up a small uhaul in front of our house. As boxes of wedding presents were strewn all across the driveway (as the four young people were trying to get everything to fit in the trailer), I remembered a photograph, taken by my parents 27 years ago, when Jon and I were loading up our little uhaul after our wedding. I remember all the joy I felt as a young bride . . . all the dreams of our future family and mission-minded life.
And today’s a day of dreams coming true . . . not just for our kids, but for us as parents. God’s parenting manual (the Bible) is a time-tested road map. We’re enjoying the fruit of our family discipleship . . . and I wanted to share a bit of my overwhelming joy.
I’m so thankful to God . . . for His grace and His help.
And I look forward to more fruit in the future.
Genesis 17:7
And I will establish My covenant between Me and you and your descendants after you in their generations, for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and your descendants after you.
About Ann Dunagan
Beautiful photographs! Congratulations on the 2 weddings!
Thanks Ashleigh!
It’s a joyful time in our family, that’s for sure!
Thanks you so much for sharing your joy with us.
We, too, are enjoying the fruits of our labors in our “home” mission field. I knew it would be great, everyone who had gone on before said it would be great, but no one could have prepared us for the immense joy and satisfaction in releasing those godly adults raised in our home and under our own hands into their own families. We pray the Lord would now seek a godly seed among our — and your — children’s children as well. God bless you and yours.
Amen, Marcia! (Thanks for sharing how the Lord is moving in your mission-minded family, and thanks for all you are doing!!)
Tonight, one of our young newlywed couples (these two have been married a bit over a year) are heading on a mission outreach to Central America with a team of nine to distribute Bibles door-to-door and to share the Gospel on the streets. What a joy!
This was such an encouragement, Ann!! I forwarded it to my husband. We caught a vision for multi-generational discipleship a few years back and it has had a profound effect on how we are raising our children…intentionally discipling them and praying daily for them and for their future spouses and children.
I also loved reading how you and your husband are working as a team in this effort, and how you are now able to enjoy its fruits together. It has been such a blessing to partner with my husband in this most significant God-given mission, and we, too, look forward to sharing our joy in the fruit God will bring forth.
Thanks for your sweet comment, Molly, and for sharing how you and your husband have a multi-generational vision for your family. It makes such a difference in our short-term choices when we realize how our decisions and daily character doesn’t just effect ourselves, right here and right now . . . the choices we make can impact our children and grandchildren . . . and many others . . . for eternity.
I know for my husband Jon and I we are so grateful for our parents and the godly legacy they instilled in us. Today is actually our 27th wedding anniversary, and we are so grateful to the Lord for His wonderful grace and mercy on our lives.
Today, I received an email question from a young lady, Brittany, which was actually a response to this article. I thought I’d respond through a comment, so others might glean from these thoughts about how to have “Mission-Minded” Engagements and Weddings.
BRITTANY’s QUESTION:
Hello Dunagan family!
I am so inspired by your website and everything you do in the field of missions, and I want to thank you for being such a Godly example to other families and individuals. I was also wondering something after hearing you (Jon&Ann) have three married children: How can a couple have a mission-minded wedding ceremony? I am still single, but I would love to begin married life with a ceremony that somehow helps the less fortunate around the world AND spreads the Gospel not only to those far away, but also to all invited to the wedding. How can this be achieved? What could an engaged couple do to help others as they marry? Thank you again so much for your ministry and God bless you all!
Hello Brittany!
Your thoughts and questions are so sweet. In all three of our “children’s” weddings, God’s heart for world missions and expanding His kingdom was a definite focus and prayer. One thing to remember, however, is that God doesn’t separate the secular and the spiritual. Everything in our lives, from preaching the Gospel and leading people to Jesus — to a godly romantic interest, a “big talk” with a girl’s dad, and even planning a wedding ceremony — should all be done to bring glory to God.
When the Lord is invited to be a part of every detail, from special prayer times at bridal showers, to even the decorations and selecting guest registry items, and even being frugal and saving money, He is honored — and people can see the difference. Just as being a Christian impacts every area of our life, being mission-minded influences every day and every decision, including weddings!
At the same time, however, it’s important to know that we can fully “enjoy the moment” without feeling like we have to make everything focused on being “super-spiritual” or extending poverty relief. There’s a time to fast and a time to feast! In the midst of everything, we mostly enjoyed the holy moment of God joining together a man and woman, for His eternal purposes — loving Him, loving each other, looking forward to raising a family together, and loving the lost. With that in mind, here are a few ways our grown children incorporated a special mission-minded emphasis in our family’s recent weddings:
1. Mission-Minded ROMANCE: All throughout their romance and engagement times, our young adult children were focused on expanding God’s kingdom. This included growing closer to the Lord and even going on many missionary trips, as they committed their futures to the Lord. Our daughter visted her fiance’s missionary family in Niger, our son took a mission trip to Germany, and our now-new son traveled all throughout Central America. My daughter and I also used the engagement time to encourage teen girls for missions by establishing “Daring Daughters” and speaking to young women at mother-daughter retreats and at homeschooling conventions. For me, this pre-marriage ministry time with my daughter was an important part of our premarriage preparation. The speaking and ministry time we had together, in the midst of our wedding planning and details, was priceless to me. I would also encourage mission-minded couples to pray together and to be open about future plans and desires. For mission-minded girls, reading anything by Elisabeth Elliot, such as Passion and Purity or Let Me Be a Woman, is also very encouraging.
A key to remember is to pray for the Lord to bring a man into your life who will MULTIPLY the call of God on both of your lives. If a romantic relationship DIVIDES or DIMS God’s call on your life and your fervency for Him, get out of that relationship ASAP! If a relationship MULTIPLIES your heart for God’s purposes, commit every day and every decision to the Lord . . . and ENJOY the moment. Remember that God is the One who designed marriage and the family . . . and love.
2. Mission-Minded MUSIC & spiritual ATMOSPHERE: The ceremony music and worship reflects a great deal about the heart of a couple — not only their love for each other, but also their love for the Lord and for others. Our weddings included songs to convey a fervent heart for the Lord and commitment to God’s mission-minded purposes, including times of worship together with those in attendance. The weddings and rehearsal dinners included songs from countries where they had ministered and other music with international themes.
3. Mission-Minded PRAYER: The weddings included special times of prayer for God’s mission purposes over each new couple, inviting His will and purposes into the union. For one of our weddings, we had a special Africa “skype” session a few days before the wedding with national pastors from West Africa who wanted to pray over the couple, but were unable to attend. We had a special time of communion, with a clear Gospel presentation, and beautiful times of surrendering to God’s future plans.
4. Mission-Minded THEMES & PHOTOS: In one wedding, we had three little boys go down the aisle with a family Bible, a globe, and the wedding rings. We also had a world map where guests can mark where they’ve been within a month prior to the ceremony (our daughter’s wedding was quite the “gathering of missionaries” — guests flew in from over 40 nations! ). Instead of a unity candle, the bride and groom mixed together international sand — red sand from Niger (from the Sahara Desert) together with grey sand from Oregon. Wedding decorations included suitcases and also photos and videos from around the world.
5. Mission-Minded STEWARDSHIP: Our weddings were beautiful, but kept to a moderate budget . . . and as we prayed, the Lord provided many remarkable discounts and gifts from friends, family, photographers, and bridal stores. The Lord even provided me with beautiful quality mother-of-the-bride and mother-of-the-groom dresses totally for FREE!!! For bridal couples who knew they would be traveling in their early married years, their gift registry included suitcases and camping supplies . . . and some even received committed missionary support.
May God bless you in your future.
Ann
Ann, What a beautiful testimony of the grace of God. And I have to interject a shallow observation: Your Mother-of-the-Bride dress was stunning!
You know, it’s often the littlest details in life that show me God’s amazing love, sometimes even more than even the big answers to my “more important” prayers. The use of this special occasion dress, from a sweet girlfriend, meant so much to me — it was a gorgeous mother-of-the bride dress (valued at over $500), in my exact size, and in just the exact colors of the wedding, with even matching shoes and pretty jewelry, totally for FREE!!! Yes, the God who designed the universe and adorns the beautiful lilies of the field, He can even take care of what should wear . . . Oh, He is so good!