Celebrating a Surrendered Christmas

By Contributing Writer, Kim Doebler

It was a nice Christmas gathering, until…..a young mom shared that her family celebrates Christmas with Santa.

The opinions started flying. Some showed concern and offered solutions. Others were just interested in presenting how evil Santa is.

Later, an older woman that had been in attendance called me. She was concerned this young mom may want to avoid these Christian “radicals.” The young mom that was bombarded did seem to appreciate some of the words shared, although it was perhaps too much. This older woman was going to call this young mom just to make sure she was OK.

I encouraged her to remind the young mom that how the family celebrates is up to her husband. As a wife, we can bring up new ideas and challenge old ways, but in the end our husband gets to make the call.

That was easy for me to say and to see, until I hit my own bump in the road.

It was a beautiful blog entry that first sent me whirling. The family I read about did devotions every night, read the prophecies of Jesus’ coming and sang songs together. Instead of presents for Christmas, they gave to the needy. They bought chickens and goats.

It is more blessed to give than to receive. (Acts 20: 35 )

Another family told us of how they spend Christmas Eve in their barn as a reminder of Jesus’s humble beginning.

While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. (Luke 2: 6-7)

That was all it took to stir discontent and perhaps even a little disrespect for my husband. Amidst feeling extremely unspiritual, I also started to dislike “our” way of doing Christmas. We sat down as a family to watch a silly Christmas movie, and I couldn’t even giggle, it felt so wrong.

After the evening was over I laid in bed crying out to the Lord to help me find joy and balance.

His answer:

To obey is better than sacrifice. (I Samuel 15:22b)

Being a grumpy, stuffy, sacrificing martyr was not what God called me to be.

 …a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping. (Proverbs 19: 13)

To obey my husband and promote joy and unity in our house was definitely part of my role in life.

 A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. (Proverbs 12: 4)

I needed to stop comparing and embrace the traditions my husband enjoys. It would require thinking on that which is good, right and pleasing in every situation.

Our Christmas was great! There were still a couple of times I had to remind myself to promote joy and unity when I would have preferred to be doing something differently. There is no doubt that Momma can dampen the mood with just a little bit of discontent, so I chose to jump in with both feet, a smile on my face, and love in my heart.

Obeying my husband by making Christmas what he wanted created warm memories for the whole family and extended family too.

The only real sacrifice that was needed was to lay down the inferiority I was feeling from comparing our family to others. Then I was free to obey my husband in his desires for “our” Christmas!

Related posts:

Finding Unity in Submission
Laying the Foundation For Being a Blessing to Your Husband
Leaky Plumbing and A Humbled Wife
About Kim Doebler

Kim has been married to Todd Doebler for twenty-five years. We have often said we had an arranged marriage because we met one Thanksgiving when our parents decided to celebrate the holiday together. Four amazing children have rounded out our family. Samantha is sixteen, a scholar. Megan is fourteen, with a missionary's heart. JT is twelve, a dependable worker. Andrea is eleven, a faithful friend.

After sixteen years of big city living in the Minneapolis area we moved to the woods of northern Wisconsin. Our family loves the woods and the life that comes with it: cutting down trees; hauling, chopping and stacking the wood; hunting; fishing; trapping; gardening; swimming; snowmobiling; pets; and space.

What gets me excited? Loving my husband, sharing life with him, and resting in his leadership of our family. Raising four souls for Jesus drives me. Encouraging other moms and seeing it make a difference thrill me. And having company, opening our home and life to others warms me.

Kim is the author of ESP Character Training: Explain, Show, Practice

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Comments

  1. Jeannette Paulson says:

    Thanks so much, Kim, for an excellent post –theology worked into life. You gotta love this quote from Douglas Wilson: “As a marriage counselor, I have seen more than a few marriages in which husbands and wives had ‘high standards’ for Christian conduct, and yet tolerated and advanced amazingly toxic attitudes in the home” (For a Glory and a Covering, p. xvi).

    • Kim says:

      I do love that quote. “Spirtuality” minus joy, who wants that? Who is attracted to that? Why would our children stay with that? Thank You Lord for awakening me to this truth.

  2. Terry says:

    Great post! It’s so easy to start thinking that we’d be a better Christian if we only did this, or that. And it’s way too easy to become that “grumpy, stuffy, sacrificing martyr” trying so hard to do things “right”.
    Thanks again, and blessings during this wonderful time of the year!

  3. Ann Schultz says:

    Thanks I needed that. I need to remember not to be discontent in so many things all year long.

    • Kim says:

      I agree Ann, discontent is such a joy stealer all year round. Focusing on the right things makes all the difference.