By Contributing Writer, Terry Covey
The topic of babies spurs much passion with women who love family and are—well—passionate about raising children for the glory of God. Babies have always been a huge part of my life. I became an aunt at the age of twelve, began my own journey of bearing ten children at twenty, and now enjoy watching my children have their own babies.
As I observe my adult children’s growing families, I realize how I much I’ve adjusted to not having babies. Only a few short years ago I couldn’t imagine this season. Now I have a new perspective that comes from a different vantage point. As I’ve watched my own babies grow up, I realize these grand-babies will soon do the same and in the blink of an eye will become adults. And that is what this mothering thing is all about. Growing adults!
We get so busy and filled with the best birth methods and feeding schedules and potty training guidelines that we forget that this time is only a season. Not that those things aren’t necessary decisions to make. We are to learn from our experiences, make wise choices, and develop our own lifestyle. And yet, in the course of life, so many of the details aren’t really that important.
Oh, I loved my home births, breastfeeding my babies, and trying infant potty training – but as my children grow out of all those stages, I realize that those things mattered more to me than to my child. What children need most is a mom who loves them and is there for them.
We can easily become obsessed with our child-bearing/mothering role, while forgetting the end result of our work. And if you’re anything like me you’ve heard this before. But I really didn’t take the advice seriously. I poured my whole being into making babies and raising them. And I’m glad for that. But, I often forgot the purpose of all my work – raising productive adults for God’s glory. I said it. I thought it. But too often, I got sidetracked.
Whose Glory Is It For Anyway?
It was easy to do this hard job of mothering for my own glory. So I would feel like I had accomplished something. So I would feel like the hard work was worth all the effort, by my own measuring stick. So my kids wouldn’t turn out “wrong.” The job of making babies is bigger, more fulfilling, and infinitely more eternal and important than anything we will ever do! But it’s not for us. It’s for the God we serve.
So I encourage and exhort you to pour your life into your children. But begin by praying for right motives. Don’t do it so you’ll feel good. Don’t do it so you’ll look good. Don’t do it so they’ll be better than others. Do it for one reason. To glorify your Father in heaven. Eternity is so much more important than today!
Your actions point your children to their Father:
- Love your babies. Your unconditional love teaches them of the Father’s love.
- Be trustworthy. As they learn to trust you, they will learn to trust the Father.
- Have mercy on them. Let them make mistakes. This teaches them to understand and accept their Father’s mercy.
- Sacrifice your life for them. This models the sacrifices their Father and their Savior made for them.
- You are an ambassador for God. You are your babies first example of the Father’s love. But don’t forget, it’s all for God and God alone!
See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is. And everyone who has this hope fixed on him purifies himself, just as He is pure. (1 John 3: 1-3)
About Terry Covey
Loved your post!
When my homebirth was a disaster and I was grieving for “the birth I’d always wanted” and knew we’d have to have c-sections for the rest of my kids… my mom (who gave birth naturally 8 times) said to me, “This is only the smallest fraction of a moment in your and your kids’ life. The “how” will lose it’s importance as you get further away from it.” I really appreciated that perspective because it all seemed so important in the here and now.
When we discovered my breasts couldn’t make breastmilk to nourish my babies (lack of milk glands), how I cried and cried. My mother came to the rescue again with words of wisdom. She basically said the same as her words above. “ONE year’s nutrition in the scheme of their ENTIRE life is just a fraction. It’s more important to focus on their eternal nutrition and on the things you can do.” It still brings comfort to this heart, after 4 formula fed babies (dern breasts never did work).
It’s so good to have the words of seasoned mamas to remind us, newer moms about the grand scheme of things and what really matters when our children become adulthood. Thank you.
raisingcropsandbabies recently posted…Farmer Boy’s Scrappy Quilt
Thanks for your input! It really is so important to see things through others eyes. We can get so tunnel visioned when we think things must be one way. My daughter who is a licensed midwife has had a similar experience as you. She watched me birth nine siblings easily, but has had two c-sections due to an insufficient pelvis. She is learning that life isn’t always what we want. And these things are small sacrifices to raise children for the glory of God, not ourselves. So much to learn as we seek His ways for His glory!
Terry recently posted…Beyond Baby Basics