When things fell apart, Elisabeth Elliot’s motto was “do the next thing.” That’s what I’ve been doing this month. Keeping my head down, shoulder to the plow, inching forward to the next thing, then the next, then the next. Some days I have to triage the various fires that flare up and threaten to overwhelm me. I literally write down all items on small sticky notes and order them according to importance. There is a delicious satisfaction in throwing away small yellow papers.
A couple of months ago two of the three ladies who worked for my business unexpectedly quit. My sister, who is the third lady, picked up some of the hours, and I added the rest of the responsibilities to my already overloaded schedule. Once I found my new groove, things worked swimmingly—until they didn’t.
My sister and friend, Raquel, packing orders.
- My computer broke, and I had to get a new one. That may sound benign until you remember all the files that have to be transfered along with all sorts and kinds of technical issues that require technical phone calls in which you are put on hold for hours after you’ve added it all up at the end of the week. (Deep breath.) It’s been over a week, and I’m still ironing out all the wrinkles.
- My business website had a glitch with PayPal, and that took an entire week to figure out and fix, again, with multiple phone calls and other time sucking activities.
I’m back to making all of my own products. I am enjoying the process of experimenting and updating recipes to make things even better.
- Six out of eight kids got the throw-up flu. The first one was my four-year-old who threw up all over his crib (he has autism and elopes without a crib) no less than 10 times in a four hour period – and an 11th time all over the hall carpet and walls the next day for good measure. When the five-year-old got it, he threw up all over the hall carpet in a new spot (we need to baptize all areas, you see) and then settled into throwing up in the toilet. After 8 hours of no puking, we thought it was safe for him to come downstairs, but no. He threw up all over the staircase, walls, banister, and associated cracks and crevices. We cleaned and cleaned for three days before the smell finally went away.
The day after a long night of vomiting. He was such a trooper.
- I commenced potty training my four-year-old with the help of his in-home ABA therapist. This means we’re not only cleaning up vomit around here, but other bodily fluids—and solids as well. David is well on his way though. I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Long tunnel, little light. But it’s there.
- That’s on top of all the normal stuff that goes on around here that basically takes me from 6:00 a.m. until 11:00 p.m. to do. The extra time required for the extra fun was carved out of the middle of the night, my writing time, and cooking decent meals. We ate light. Peanut butter and jelly, anyone? (How about a shot of whiskey?)
Reading
I’ve been into Audible for over a year now, and I recently finished up The Brothers K by David James Duncan. It took for. ev. er. It’s a long book, and I only have time to listen when I’m in the car by myself, which is not all that often. But oh me, oh my, did I love, love, love, LOVE this book. The narrator was fabulous, and the writing was pure genius. I smiled, laughed, and probably looked horrified a time or two while running my errands for the past four months. Sometimes I sat in my garage, reluctant to turn off the car and my book and go inside. I was sad to see this beautiful story full of complex, endearing characters end. I immediately picked up Amy Cuddy’s Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges, which is non-fiction, something I usually read on my Kindle so I can highlight things, but I got it on an Audible sale, so there you have it. It’s caused me to think often about my posture, how I walk, and how I need to stop pulling into myself all the time. No more hiding. No more shame. (She has a fascinating story. You can watch her Ted Talk on this subject HERE.) I’m almost done with Presence, and I can’t wait to start up another work of fiction. Which one? A Man Called Ove, Ready Player One, or Water for Elephants (only $3.95 on Audible at the time of this writing – GRAB IT!) Anybody want to weigh in?
At night, to help me fall asleep, and because I can, I read on the Kindle app on my phone. I can usually get in about 10 minutes of reading before nodding off. In March I consumed 10 Lifesaving Principles for Women in Difficult Marriages (very good if you intend to stay with a destructive spouse), Show Your Work and Steal Like an Artist (two inspiring little books on creativity I got on sale), and I’m currently working on How Did We End Up Here? by George Simon. (I love all his books and recommend In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People.)
Writing
I’ve got five different blog posts brewing in my head. I just need to find time to write them. The kids have been out of school, so that also prohibits me from writing. Anyone try to write with kids around? It can’t be done, and there’s no use trying. I do have several emails from readers waiting in my inbox for me to respond. If you sent me an email, I apologize for not being able to reply. I will get to that inbox eventually.
Thinking/Planning
I’ll tell you what I’m thinking about. 5,493 blog articles I’d love to write but don’t have the time for. I can think of 2-3 almost every day. I’m bursting to write, but alas, this is not my season. Yet. I used to be jealous of Amy Carmichael who was severely injured in her later years and spent almost 20 years bedridden and writing. I think that sounds lovely. Could I request a room with a view and a good cook?
I’m getting away this coming weekend to do some life planning using Michael Hyatt’s new Living Forward plan. I will also be working my way through the Can Your Relationship be Saved questionnaire by Michael Broder. If you are currently wondering about your own relationship, that resource has some excellent questions to ponder.
In the midst of my computer snafu, I decided to go through my Evernote files and get rid of garbage. I came across an audio I tried making last fall where I’m talking to young people (supposedly) about red flags to look for in a potential dating relationship. It’s along the lines of my Deal Breakers article. I’m not sure I’ll ever use it for anything, so I thought I’d share it with you. It’s unedited and rough. And I loop quite a bit, so consider yourself forewarned:
Listening
I’m listening to sermons by Sam Powell almost every morning while I get ready for the day. I love his preaching style, and I learn something new every single time I listen. He’s down to earth, easy to understand, and he “gets it” when it comes to abuse issues. I’ve never heard anything (yet) that has made me go, “Whaaaa???” I recommend him if you are jaded by the church or think every leader is a hypocrite. You can visit the sermons audio website here OR download the sermons audio app on your phone and find him under his name.
Watching
Yes, I watch TV. How do I find the time? I make soap at night after the kids are in bed, and I watch shows at the same time. I just finished season two of Happy Valley on Netflix. It’s a dark show, but I love it. I need to catch up with Downton Abbey and Call the Midwife. I heard Sherlock is out again, too. So many shows to watch, and fortunately for me, so much soap to make. This is my down time. As good as it gets, anyway.
And I wrote this after the kids were in bed because I made soap earlier today, and everyone is healthy at the moment. Time to hit the sack. I’m exhausted.
My daughter, Aimee, and I at a recent event at University Northwestern where she plans to take classes next year. She looks a little bit like I did when I was her age.
Oh, Natalie, my heart was breaking for you when I read about all the kid-dos sick with the flu. You sound like super-woman to me, with a sense of humor. I’m glad God is God, the I AM, because I have no answers for you. (Just prayers and compassion and a virtual hug.)
Oh, except one suggestion: Subscribe to Carbonite for back-up on the computer. I love it. I about stroked out when a thief stole my laptop the day before I started a contract out of town as consultant and lead editor on a workbook about the U.S. Constitution.I had to go back to my own town to reload from my PC onto a new laptop. Imagine if I hadn’t had the materials on the PC. After that stress I invested in Carbonite so I will never, ever reach that level of stress again, at least not over a computer crashing/missing.
Prayers and hugs. Christine
How awful! I can’t imagine the stress of that situation. Plus feeling violated due to the theft. Augh.
Praise God, we did have a hard drive backup – but some of the issues were related to the fact that Apple has updated/changed some of their programs, and the old ones I had aren’t compatible with the new ones. I’ve lost some pictures and home movies and other files – still need to make yet another phone call. I keep finding things that are unresolved as I go along. It is frustrating. But yes – you’re right about having backup. Computers rarely give you a heads up that they are dying. Mine died because I spilled oil on the keyboard while making salve. (My computer was a safe distance from where I was working, so I thought. What happened was a bit of a fluke.) It lasted one week – and then croaked. It was old anyway, and I needed to update it. But what a pain in the rumpusdiddlyumpus. Thank you for the recommendation. Hopefully this discussion will save another poor soul destined to lose their computer soon.
Hi Natalie,
I did a double-take at your picture…thought I was looking at two of your daughters. You look wonderful!
I love how you are so purposeful with your life. You find incredible resources that I plan to pass on. I have several dear women in my life who have been so hurt in abusive marriages. My heart aches for each one, and I’m grateful to be able to point them to a resource like yours.
Thank you for sharing!
P.S. Is your daughter looking at the U. of Northwestern in St. Paul? My daughter is going up there soon to check it out. She’s been very impressed by all she’s learned about it so far.
Yes! That’s my alma mater! Let me know what you end up deciding! My daughter is taking classes there free through our state’s PSEO program. She can get in two years of college paid for by the state before graduating.
Here are my thoughts on your post:
And I watched “A Matter of Faith” movie on Netflix. It was kind of cliche, but I think I will let my kids watch it so they can have a glimpse of what college life is like.
1) What do I have to complain about? 😀
2) Books?? I’m reading so many right now, it’s just ridiculous. “Calling Invisible Women” by Jeanne Ray – it’s fiction and light and funny. “However Long the Night” non-fiction about Female Genital Cutting in Senegal. Really interesting how Molly was able to turn around a culture. Reading books on Whole Food Plant Based lifestyle like Whole, Proteinaholic, Food over Medicine and a 21 day Detox Elimination Diet. I am also reading “Call the Midwife: Shadows of the Workhouse (The Midwife Trilogy Book 2)” I love biographies and historical fiction. The first part of this book was really interesting… it slowed down a bit and picked up the one on FGC. I read the Outlander book 1 and almost half of book 2 and then had to put it on hold. Very interesting plot but all the sexual situations were really disturbing. :/
3) After years I finally finished watching Parenthood TV series on Netflix. I spent a couple nights going to bed around 2 am trying to finish it. I paid the price. I was in an awful mood for a week. Now, I am back to taking myself to bed by 10pm.
4) TOday I took a breather in the middle of the afternoon. The pollen is taking a toll on me.
5) Dealing with Algebra issues with my DD13 again. :/ Will this ever end? Considering changing our curriculum yet again.
6) We are getting a new liner to our pool. Gardening is going the best this year. I almost feel like a seasoned gardener aka know what I am doing.
7) I have lost 60 pounds since last March and I feel great. I am smaller now than when I married 15 years ago. I feel stronger, healthier and happier. I am mourning my reproductive years though, as I see menopause approaching. So weird. So crazy!
7) I will definitely check out the preacher. And you look so young next to your daughter! So pretty.
I’m so happy to hear from you, Tereza! Thank you for giving me a glimpse into what you are up to these days. I was wondering about the Outlander books. And honestly – menopause is great once you get there and embrace it.
It’s almost like a whole new life opens up and stretches out before you. It’s interesting, and not at all what I thought would happen. You’ll do great. ((hugs!))
Thanks for the vote of confidence. I have heard that menopause can be great. Heard nothing negative from my Mom and Grandmother. One is 64 y.o. and running marathons, the other 86 y.o. and with no health issues.
But I am in those middle years…when things go kind of crazy. One cycle I ovulate, the next it takes 49 days for my period to arrive. :/ I praise God I got no hot flashes. But I am looking forward to when things balance out and I am no longer in the menopause puberty years. 😀
Ah so pretty are you and Aimee! I read all your blog posts!
I’m getting lots of good ideas of things to read and listen. Thanks! Now, if you only provided the time to read / listen as well!
I’m excited to hear that there is another episode of “Sherlock”. I recently discovered it and have enjoyed them all.
And thanks for just making such a beautiful “place” to come to. Your website is so pretty and makes me feel really peaceful.
Hoping life will even out for you soon and you can feel your head is above water. Looking forward to your next article.
Thank you.
Thank you for this wonderful post! I love how you listed such great resources and quality material you are reading, listening, or watching. The Lord has been waking and stirring things in me that have been asleep for so long. I used to dream and read and plan and organize. I used to have hope and vision. I, like you, started to come out of the fog of my abusive marriage around the 18-20 year mark-although I knew something was terribly wrong before that. We have been married for 22 years this month. In the hopelessness of my marriage and because I was always so confused, angry, and thinking about how I could fix it all and I lost sight of everything else. In the last few months I believe God is letting those parts of my life I have let fall away slowly creep back to life. I have grown and learned so much these last few years and I am thankful that these parts of me are slowly being awakened and allowed to be tended to and nurtured. After reading your posts I ordered two of the books you mentioned. I am thankful for you and all the other women out there that have ministered to me. Praying you have a blessed day! Thanks again!
I’m so glad you are finding help! It is refreshing to view things from the perspective of TRUTH after being immersed in lies and confusion for so long. Thank you for connecting here, Alicia!