This is a great little clip to send to someone who believes your very convincing emotionally abusive partner. When the helper tells you to “love them more” as the solution, it only emboldens the abusive partner. Here’s why:
If you want to share this short clip with a “people helper” via email, but you don’t want to link them directly to this blog, here’s a link that leads straight to the clip: http://www.youtube.com/v/cMnaexahcLo?version=3&start=338&end=446&autoplay=0&hl=en_US&rel=0
Before I was a shadow of me. A version of me I thought I had to be to fit into the circles I ran in. Now I’m just me, I don’t have a circle anymore, and if someone doesn’t like it, they can lump it. I’m good with God, and that’s my peace.
When things fell apart, Elisabeth Elliot’s motto was “do the next thing.” That’s what I’ve been doing this month. Keeping my head down, shoulder to the plow, inching forward to the next thing, then the next, then the next. Some days I have to triage the various fires that flare up and threaten to overwhelm […]
If you are tangled up in a confusing relationship, one effective strategy to gain a solid footing (and eventually a voice) is to write things down. It doesn’t matter if you are a good writer or not. Your purpose isn’t to win a Pulitzer prize. Here are three important things you can record on paper (or on your computer) that will be tremendously helpful to you over time.
Can you have a healthy relationship where there is lying, covering up, pretending, overlooking, and ignoring? Does that foster intimacy? Of course not. Healthy relationships are grown in the soil of vulnerability and safety. When two people are open and honest, they can get close and experience authentic acceptance and love. Anything less is dysfunctional in some way.
We want to believe we live in an advanced civilization—one that has risen above the base prejudice of our unenlightened ancestors. Human beings have a bent to marginalize other people. We want to be the best Sneetches on the beaches, after all.
On July 9, 1960, a man took his two kids for a boat ride on the Niagra River. Motor trouble caused the boat to get caught up in the fast current and tip over. The father was swept over the falls to his death. One of the children, a 7-year-old boy, fell over the Canadian […]