Four home schooled kids on their way to school for the first time in their lives. Nervous excitement? Oh yes!
WOW! It’s been a long time since I’ve really blogged. I know I’ve thrown out a couple random things here and there, but I’ve really gotten out of the swing of writing, and it’s been hard to get back to this place. But here I am at Caribou Coffee waiting for my ballerinas again. A new dancing year began tonight, and that means I get some time alone to write. I’m also eating licorice and drinking an Odwalla smoothie. Blueberry. The sun is burning arrows at me through this wall-sized, west-facing window, and I’m having a hot flash. In a sweatshirt. Not good. Some more Odwalla juice? Yes, please. Maybe a new location too, but all the good spots were taken when I walked in.
OK, how about an update about my ADHD Girl and how the kids are doing in their various education locations? I used to think, “Why in the world would anyone give a rip about me and my nerny little life?” I thought I had to write about Big-Hairy-Deal-Things in order to be a writer. Forget. It. Already. A writer is someone who writes. No?
My ADHD Girl. I wrote about her HERE and HERE. Also a little HERE where I talk about why we are private schooling her and three others instead of home schooling this year. Catch up if ADHD stuff rocks your world the way it rocks mine. Over the summer she had occupational therapy to learn coping techniques when her emotions go wonky. Apparently the front lobe of her brain shuts down when she is stressed, causing her to have difficulty reasoning. All I can say is, “Who knew?” and a soft, breathy, emotion-packed “Oi.” I can’t even write anymore about it or I’ll have another hot flash, and I’m already soggy.
It’s interesting, because I recently read that the brain in ADHD children is often smaller, size-wise. Our family has gargantuan heads. (What does that say about us?) Three of our kids had to be checked for hydrocephalus when they were babies because their heads grew so fast they were totally off the charts. But this girl? She has a head the size of a green pea. (OK, I just looked at the picture above and compared their heads. I don’t see much of a difference from the front. You think I’m a big fat liar, don’t you? I swear you can tell a difference in person. I’m probably exaggerating just a teensy wee little bit though.) She also has some learning issues which have made homeschooling her next to impossible. And believe me, I tried. And tried. I think my own head is a lot smaller from all the head banging I’ve done. But her teachers say she’s the cat’s P.J’s., so hopefully they won’t ever find this blog. (She has personality on steroids, so I think folks who don’t live with her just see her amazing side. I’m glad about that, and I think she is too.)
So the occupational therapy was helpful. So were the visits with a pediatric psychiatrist. And also the medicine. Once we found the dosage that was right for her, the episodes of emotional trauma came to an end, and I realized I was going to live after all. Nobody can tell me bad things about meds. I’ll pray you have to take care of a mentally unstable individual someday (for your own good and growth, of course), and you’ll be S.O.R.R.Y. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
And what about school? I’ve got a child in a public school, four in a private school, one I’m homeschooling, and two toddlers. My public schooled son is a senior taking college classes in sound design at a local technical college through a program in Minnesota that pays for it. My recently married son did this as well and got two years of college paid for. Too good to pass up.
The four middle kids (14 yo girl, 12 yo boy, 11 yo girl, 9 yo girl) are all at a private school nearby. The girls all LOVE it. Love, love, love it. They love their teachers. They love their friends. They love spelling. OK. Not the spelling, but they are so, so happy. On the first day of school a friend asked me, “So, were there tears this morning?” I said, “What do you mean? Like, tears of joy? Yeah.”
They aren’t really gone that long, honestly. They get home around 3:00, and we get in a full six hours of sibling rivalry, homework wars, food fights, laughing, debate, lectures, and cuddles before it’s time to go to bed. So what do I do during the 7 hours they are at school? Let me tell you.
The Three Musketeers eating a healthy breakfast of Honey Nut Cheerios. I’ve tried all the other kinds of breakfasts. This is the only one met with smiles instead of howls. Don’t worry. We’ll be OK.
First of all, it’s pretty quiet. I mean, the boys can be riotous sometimes, but overall, the noise level has dropped significantly. The stress level has dropped in proportion to the drop in ruckus. Then, I have this really delightful 6 yo who is every homeschool mommy’s dream. She cooperates. She rarely complains. She gets her work done. She learns. And she enjoys it. She gives me zero trouble. I also have my two dear, darling, ‘dorable little boys. They are the closest in age of any of my children. Wasn’t God good to give me these two at the very end? I love to squoosh them and smother them with hugs and kisses. One is skinny winny. The other is chubby bubby. They are the same size even though they are 20 months apart.
That was a very ridiculous, slobbery paragraph, and I ought to edit out all the drool, but I’m just gonna leave it.
So my days are quiet and peaceful. My sister comes over almost every morning and packs orders for my online business. She’s super funny, so we do a lot of laughing. I think I pay her mostly just to keep me sane. She and I plus my new daughter-in-law have started going to a local Jazzercise center for some exer…er…jazzercise four times a week. We look ridiculous (er, I do), I don’t know the songs, and we are having way too much fun getting into shape.
I am hoping to get back into the swing of regular writing. I have five million things to write about, and I actually think that’s part of my trouble. I’m paralyzed by the mountain of ideas.Where do I even begin?
Did I tell you I’m getting my blog redesigned? It was slated to be finished by mid-August, but my designer had her baby (I’m assuming – I haven’t heard from her for weeks, and I’m fairly certain nobody in all of history was ever pregnant longer than ten months), and she’s lost in foggy baby land now. I hope her baby lets her come back one day. My blog is so ugly I can’t even stand it. It’s hard to write on an ugly canvas. I’m tempted to bawl louder than any baby ever could and see if I get a response. (I’m ONLY KIDDING.)
My time here is over now. What about you? Catch me up! How is school going? Are you finding your new groove this fall? Leave a comment! (Or a paragraph. Or another post!)
Oh, I LOVED your update!!! I could add a few more exclamation points in there!
I put my two oldest into our local school this year and it’s been AMAZING! So thankful for this wonderful community we’ve become a part of (even though we are out on a farm, the sense of community here is very strong once you become a part of the school… that and church seem like the link, at least around here. Infact, we were so inspired, we’ve been church searching for a church closer to us vs. the one we were going to. Pros and Cons to that). I run into both boys’ teachers frequently and chat, they love school and are catching onto things so quickly (the same things I wanted to yell at them about because my teaching skills were so poor they didn’t get it… math), my stress levels have dropped significantly, my two younger children are blossoming with the extra attention (especially my 3rd son… I had the first 3 boys in 2-1/2 years and he was always the third wheel until now), I’m able to focus more on nipping some bad habits my 2 year old has learned in the bud, the home is becoming a place that is inviting, and …
we learned we are expecting baby #5. It was a suprise, but it’s been awesome to be able to see how God’s timing is perfect. Baby is due in April (which A: gives me 2 months to heal from my c-section before I have all 4 kids home for summer B: gives me a nice chunk of time to keep working with my younger 2 (esp. my 3rd son) until baby’s arrival C: baby will be immobile all summer which will be nice for seizing the day with the boys D: I’ll have 3 kids in school in the fall and it will leave me at home with just the little 2 E: It’s not a busy time on the farm yet so my husband will be able to help more. I had my first 4 kids in 4 years and it was good and so chaotic… I would have cried in despair if I would have gotten pregnant at the pace I was getting pregnant at. I’m excited for this change. I have a feeling having children 3 years apart is going to be very different.
That was a very long update on my end. I just wanted to share that school can be SUCH a blessing and totally God’s blessing!
I’m just CHEERING to read this. SOOOO excited to hear you are pregnant, and I love all the beautiful things you are thankful for. Enjoy this year! (And yes, having babies three years apart is quite delightful! You feel “ready,” and it seems that the next one up is also better able to adjust. God works through all timings, but I think you will really appreciate this spacing this time around!) HUGS!
I’m so glad your school year is going so well! We just put four of our five children in public school after homeschooling for nine years. I have a special needs daughter that I just couldn’t teach anymore and do a good job. Thank you for sharing your journey!
Let me know how it goes!
Yay! I’ve missed you. I’m so glad to get an update. I have tons of respect for you, so it’s good for me to hear about issues, meds, school, etc. from you. Our school year is a bit wobbly so far, but I’m learning not to stress about it. My dyslexic 8 year old is doing so much better with her reading that I almost forget how far behind we are in math. Sigh. Celebrate the successes. We’ll catch up the other stuff later. My kids are loving Classical Conversations and I’m tutoring a class of high-energy four and five year olds, including one of mine. I’m newly pregnant and super excited, albeit exhausted, starved, and nauseated. After our big loss a year and a half ago, my husband’s certainty that we didn’t need any more babies, and my hormone issues, I was sure this wouldn’t happen. God is so good! I’m officially high-risk this time, due to my “advanced maternal age” and my second trimester miscarriage, but we found an excellent doctor willing to see me all the way through and go the extra mile to keep me as unstressed as possible. Now if only I could find someone who would cook for us and bring food that I didn’t have to smell, we’d be golden! I’m smiling about your Honey Nut Cheerios, because I’m about to be feeding my family a lot of things like that for several weeks until I get my groove back and can handle the kitchen again. My kids ate frozen pizza (I did bake it first) and apple slices for dinner last night. We will survive.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I pray that all goes well this time around. I know the paranoid feelings that come with a pregnancy that follows such a jolting loss in the 2nd trimester. That’s where the rubber meets the road when it comes to walking by faith and not by sight.
I’ve heard so many good things about Classical Conversations! I hope it is a great fit for you and your kids.
Keep me posted on your pregnancy!
We are having the best school year (so far – ok, a whole whopping two weeks) that we have had in ages. I was more organized going in. Each child is in an all day co-op (different days) that covers full science and history. Highlights of their weeks. The remaining days we are having a nice time together in year 9 of homeschooling.
Our biggest change is dealing with my aging in laws – mother in law has rapidly advancing Alzheimers – her mind is really almost all gone, but physically she is good. Father in law struggles physically. They are still in their home that we had remodeled for one level, handicapped living this past year. We are providing A LOT of care. I think this is helping me be more on the ball with organization and time management. We like what it is teaching and showing our kids as well. I think for the forseeable future our lives will be in limbo with that – last week my husband had to rush up there at 3am while father in law went in the hospital for 5 days, and live with his mom since she cannot be alone. We are walking this new road trusting God – it is painful, much grieving, frustration, family relationships, etc. But God is good and faithful and we know He is Sovereign.
I was so happy to read your update – and knowing your children personally – and having the sweet girl (ADHD) in Sunday School this past week – I can attest to the fact that her head IS smaller. Once you said that I was like “oh my goodness, she totally has a smaller head and different look to her as compared to the others”. But you know my thoughts on that dear, sweet, vivacious, adorable, precious girl…..God an use her mightily….just how He made her. Glad you found medicine to help. Medicine helps my depression and I proudly and loudly proclaim it. God has given us medicine! It is a tool that we can use with His wisdom guiding us. It is not inherently evil as many would have us believe. And those people – I wonder if when their husband is dying in front of their eyes of a heart attack, if they will let the paramedics inject medicine into him.
Amen!
Thank you for the update, Sara. I’m praying for your situation. So many complicated emotions, one wave after the other. Keep me posted.
I meant to comment on the post about your son’s wedding–you looked beautiful! Loved your dress!
I really love and appreciate your honesty.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that all of our story’s are so different. God work in each of our lives is so individual that it just doesn’t pay to compare one to another. God is so much bigger than we give Him credit for.
Your time at home with your littles sounds wonderful and I’m glad your olders(?) are enjoying school! Thanks for the update! Keep ’em comin! Also looking forward to seeing your new blog look!
Thank you, Catie!
Can you give a brief overview of the occupational therapy so that I can get an idea of whether it would help my oldest? He’s 13. Could probably be diagnosed as inattentive type ADHD if we wanted a diagnosis (but the therapy we’re pursuing and seeing success with doesn’t focus on labels). He has working memory issues, and has a tendency in stressful situations, especially ones that require a speedy reaction, to just freeze up completely….
I think each therapist would likely gear specific therapies to the needs of each child. Our child got help with coping techniques (self-soothing, calming) for when she begins to feel out of control. She also learned about the Zones of Regulation http://www.zonesofregulation.com/ and how to assess where she was at and where she needs to be in order to interact in a socially appropriate manner. They did some other things too – sensory therapies etc. to help stimulate her brain to make some connections it wasn’t making on its own. She had some primitive reflexes leftover from when she was a baby that needed some work as well.
Thanks!
Good to hear that school is going well.
You sound great, Natalie — good to hear your update!
We had a very exciting breakthrough with our special-needs son. I wrote here before of the improvement he’s shown in the last year or so, and we have more reason to celebrate again the progress the Lord has worked for him.
A few weeks ago, my son was exposed to not one, but two of his triggers (that have caused him extreme anxiety), occurring within literally minutes of each other.
And. Neither. Event. Phased. Him. In. The. LEAST!!
With one of the triggers, he’s been showing progress with how he deals with it, but the other one he had never made one speck of progress. It had been over a year since he’d been exposed to that trigger, and it came pretty much out of the blue. But this time, for the first time ever, he dealt with it without any issues whatsoever.
We are so thankful to God for all He’s doing behind the scenes, working His will and giving us glimpses every now and then into the beautiful blessings He has planned for us and our children.
Well, that’s my update. 😉 It’s not exactly a school update, but you’re not grading this, right? 😉
Blessings to you and your family!
Thank you for sharing this terrific news! SOOOO encouraging to hear! A+ for the smiles.
I have ADD, (not the H; I’m lazy as heck and I do think it does a disservice to the kids for the DSM to conflate ADD and ADHD when treating them the same is a baaaaad idea, as my 12 years of public schooling could at times attest,) but if the plain-old-ADD brain also shuts down when stressed…you may have just explained almost my entire life. If I get angry enough, I can’t even talk in a straight or complete sentence and wind up saying all manner of ridiculous things, (which pretty effectively nerfs my attempts at apologetics, sadly…I get quite piqued, to say the least, when my Lord and Savior is ridiculed or blasphemed ._. ) And I can also vouch that yes, meds CAN work, (not as the ONLY thing, though–no one builds a house with just a hammer
) and I went off of mine in 8th grade, (I’d been on them since Kindergarten,) but I do sometimes wonder if high school and college would have gone easier had I stayed on them. I just was worried, as I was entering the “teenage” years proper, that kids would be trying to steal my Aderall because it has such a high street value 
And here I am as an adult thinking of going BACK on the meds (something stimulant-free this time, since I’m no longer a minor and have more options,) just because the wide-open-semi-cube environment of my workplace is proving quite problematic.
So there’s a brain dump from a 30-year-old with ADD. But can you provide a link about the brain-shutting-down-during-stress thing? Maybe if I can understand that better I can learn to control it better…
I definitely think it is something you might want to look into further. It could change the quality of your life/work experience. Here’s a link with more info. for you: http://www.attentiondeficit-add-adhd.com/adhd_add_information.htm
Hi Natalie! I was just thinking of your family the other day and wondering how all your new schooling decisions were working out! Happy that everything is going well.
While it’s hard to imagine that my life sitation might cause my homeschooling situation to change someday, I realize now, that its always possible. As if I know what my future holds right? I have found your posts this past year very challenging….in a good way. You make me think more than I want to think sometimes.
What the Lord has been teaching me is that I’m only ONE mother, and I need to not be so hard on myself. I give lots of grace to others and more is needed for myself!
P.s. LOVED your dress you wore to your sons wedding!
Thank you, Hailey!
Great update Natalie! First, I loved that you posted a pic of your small ones eating Cheerios… makes this mom feel normal and not guilty! (Where DOES all of this mom guilt come from anyway?!)
Second, also love to hear how the Lord is working in your life with school and each of your children. We came as close this year as ever this year to putting our kids in school due to my postpartum depression (which, at the time, was undiagnosed). I’ve had such a difficult time these last several months after the birth of our 7th… life was just not enjoyable at all and I couldn’t come out of it. But, I was devastated to not homeschool. When my husband suggested it, he thought he was helping my stress… but I thought I was failing. The next week I was diagnosed with PPD and put on meds and it has been much better since then. Our school year has gone well, we’ve added 2 more to the school cycle (making it 5 in and 2 younger), and life is enjoyable again.
Thanks for sharing your life!
I’m so glad to hear that you were properly diagnosed and are getting help with your PPD. How wonderful that it is enabling you to do what you really want to do this year. You have a house-full!
I’m trying to figure out where all the guilt comes from too. I think it comes from lots of broken places inside ourselves – and outside ourselves. Some of it real, some not so much. The bottom line is that when God looks at us, He sees His Son. His Son’s righteousness imputed to us. Amazing.
I have no idea where the Honey-Nut Cheerios guilt comes from. I drank a glass-full of Tang (a sugary, artificial color laden beverage that was popular in the 60s-70s – anyone else remember this?) every night before I went to bed growing up. I think my mom thought it was healthy because it was orange. I have lived to write about it though. Hopefully our kids will survive the morning cereal ritual as well.
I love how real you are! It disarms any critical and judgmental person like me. Love to read your stuff and I check often. I am glad you are back and sharing and helping us all.
As for us, I am still homeschooling. Things have gotten better with DD11. I think part was hormones and not forgetting to be a firm parent establishing boundaries. Everything is so much better. We are using a new math curriculum that is really working. Our biggest struggle was math. Not that she couldn’t do it or understand it. She just didn’t want to. Sometimes it was so bad I thought she had ODD.
the other kids are doing fine. But I do notice that DD4 plays by herself longer than I wished she did. I am feeling guilty I am not giving her enough Mom time. It’s a prayer concern. I can clearly see how things change as we have more kids. Some things fall by the way side and some are definitely better. Got to focus on prioritizing and not forget what is important.
DD11 is my biggest challenge but I am so thankful for her. She decided she wanted to run a 5K at the end of this month. I told her I would help her practice. So I began running!!! I would never imagine myself running at all! I always hated running! Well, what do you know?? I am running a mile now!!! It’s just amazed how God uses those around us to mold and polish us.
Me a big lump of clay – running!! Ha! God is good!
My parents, from Brazil, arrived for a 40 day visit a week ago. I thought they would not make it this year. I am so happy they came. We are enjoying them here and I get to have some alone time with DH. I am looking forward to a weekend away. Did that last year for the first time and realized I should be doing it every year.
DH had a struggle with kidney stones these past couple of months, but praise the Lord they are on the way out. It was a big scare with high blood pressure and all but it caused him to appreciate his life more. Thank you Jesus for shaking my hubby to his senses. He is a much better person to be around now. Sometimes we can be whiny and grouchy and trials are a way to make us thankful.
Sorry for the long report.
Hope to read more of your posts soon. Blessings!!
It was fun to catch up with you! I’m with you on hating to run…and amazed that you have pushed past that to succeed in doing it! GO GIRL! And so true about health scares and how they wake us up to our fragility. I’m glad your husband is doing better.
Enjoy your visit with your parents as well as your time away with your husband. What a treat. God is good.
Natalie,
Thanks for the update! I am so happy to hear that your family is doing so well! Your pictures are SO cute…What a wonderful family… You are blessed!
I appreciated the info. on your ADHD daughter. Wow, it is amazing what you have learned and what she is learning. Our 13 year old was diagnosed this summer, and is taking Ritalin. It’s been a crazy ride…. I’ve seen ADHD in him since birth, but something about puberty and ADHD… Something did NOT mix well. We are seeing some good changes with the meds… but nothing is perfect. It is taking time. Keeping him busy and on his meds is a good combination. We just finished ( I think we finished?) counseling with an older gentlemen who has been diagnosing this stuff since the 80’s. He loves kids, and was encouraging… I just don’t think the process of learning about all of this is over, though. I think we still have a ways to go, and we need to find a good doctor to manage his meds. Unfortunately, our counselor could not recommend anyone! It will be a trial and error process, I guess.
Thanks so much for the update!
Lisa
I hope you can find a good doctor. I think puberty definitely exacerbates the problem. Have you seen the book, Transforming the Difficult Child by Glasser/Easley?
Natalie,
Thanks for reminding me about that book. I am putting it in my wishlist right now!
By the way- I just can’t get enough of the breakfast picture above.
You should do something fun with it!